ZOMG!
Everyone knows what OMG stands for. But sometimes you need a little extra je n'est-ce quois to give certain OMGs the explosive punch they need. That's where the Z comes into play. It doesn't stand for anything. It just looks cool. And it means you're really surprised. Example: "I got the lead in 'Phantom of the Opera!' ZOMG!" The letter Z can also be added to the end of acronyms to heighten their intensity. "LOLZ!" "ROFLZ!" being prime examples.
ftw!
It took me quite a while to figure out what this one meant and it's since become one of my favorites. As I understand it, it has its roots in those badly translated Japanese video games. The letters stand for "For The Win".
I know. What the crap does that mean? It's usually used in conjunction with a particular thing you think is very useful or something that's just plain cool. It's like saying, if you want to succeed, I highly recommend you use this! Examples: "Bazooka, ftw!" or "Unlimited ride metro card, ftw!" or "150 grams of protein a day, ftw!"
Braces, ftw!
Shine Get!
Leave it to the Japanese and their great interest in Western language and culture to provide us with some real gems over the decades. In the Nintendo GameCube game 'Super Mario Sunshine', Mario and Co. go to an island resort where they find the sun isn't shining so brightly. That's because the 150 Shines--little golden star-like things--have been scattered over the island. It's up to Mario to collect them all and return the summertime sun to its original skin-sizzling brilliance. In the US, every time he picks one up, the word "SHINE!" appears on the screen. However, in the Japanese version of the game, it's not just "SHINE!" but...
Since the release of this game, a popular way of expressing joy at the acquisition of something is to say what it is you got, then put the word "GET!" after it. Example: "Tall decaf get!" or "Tax return get!" or "Ukulele get!"
Teh
Teh = The. Arguably the most important word in internet-speak, this popular misspelling came from the days before voice chat in online games, when you had to type to your teammates. Go too fast and the always becomes teh. Use "teh" liberally. It can be used in front of just about anything. From "Teh cocker spani0lz, ftw!" to "Teh lolz!", teh should be used as frequently as possible.
pwned
Also from the world of Teh comes "pwned" which is simply a misspelling of the word "owned". You're playing an online shooting game and you kill someone. That guy just got pwned. Pronounced "pohn'd" not "poo-awn'd".
n00b
If you're new at something, you might be called a "newbie". But here in the 21st Century, you'll probably be called a "n00b" (spelled with zeros and pronounced "Newb", not "newbie" as I originally thought). It's your first night on the job. You're carrying a tray of dishes to the table when you slip and splat lentil soup all over Mrs. Wherewithal's fur stole. If she has a good sense of humor about it, and knows some internet jargon, she'll point at you and say, "Teh n00b!"
Evar
Sometimes you really want to drive home the fact that whatever it is you're talking about is without question, the apotheosis. Simple! Just change the "ever" to "evar". Again, this has its roots on internet forums where fast-typing illiterates enthusiastically gush about something they love. If you're afraid the A won't make the point clearly enough, add some !!!1!!1!. Example: Teh cock0r spani0lz, ftw! ZOMG! Teh best dog EVAR!!!1!
---zorz!
Finally, we have "---zorz!". If I remember my Schoolhouse Rock correctly, this is like an internet adverb. You add it to the end of words like "Lame" or "Suck" or "Rock". See all those Zs? By now you know what they do. That's right! They make things more intense! So instead of something being simply LAME, it can now be LAMEZORZ! If it's freakin' awesome, it roxzorz (Note, the "ck" of "rock" and "suck" always become Xs. Also note, all letter Os can (and usually should) be replaced with zeros whenever possiblez0rz.) Usually used with a preceding "teh". Example: Teh bestz0rz.
BONUS WORDS! SOMETHING LUCKY IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!
An up-and-comer in internet lingo is the word "FAIL". You think something sucks or has the potential to be really bad? It is "total FAIL". Easy, no? Example: "The Iron Man trailer = Great. The Iron Man movie = FAIL!" Usually used as a speculative term for things that have yet to be released.
A word that didn't QUITE make it was "FACE!" It started to take hold, but couldn't break through, probably because it can only be used when something happens to your head. Like if you're walking down the street and accidentally walk face-first into a pole, someone should shout "FACE!" If you get hit with a creme pie, someone should shout, "FACE!" If a volleyball hits you in the nose, everyone should shout, "FACE!" Basically a variation on "pwned".
Also worthy of mention is the new and improved WIBAMU which stands for "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle." I've found that this one, however, is much more fun to say than type.
Face!
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