For N'Awlins

Hurricane Drink Recipe
2 ounces amber rum
1/4 cup passion fruit juice, or 1 tablespoon passion fruit syrup
1 teaspoon superfine sugar
1/2 teaspoon grenadine
Juice of 1/2 lime
Cherries and orange slice to garnish
Ice cubes



(Okay, so the drink in the picture isn't really a hurricane, but it was the best I could do)

In a cocktail shaker mix the rum, passion fruit juice and sugar until sugar is dissolved. Add the grenadine, and lemon juice and stir to combine. Add the ice cubes and shake. Strain Hurricane into a cocktail glass. Garnish with orange and cherries. Yield: 1 serving

Interesting tidbits of the origin of this famous drink:

The creation of this passion-colored relative of a Daiquiri drink is credited to Pat O'Brien. He is reported to have invented the Hurricane in the 1940s in New Orleans. Rumors say he needed to get rid of all the rum that Southern distributors forced him to buy before he could get a few cases of other spirits. He poured the concocosion into hurricane-lamp-shaped glasses and gave it away to sailors. The drink caught on, and it's been part of the celebration ever since.

Pat O'Brien operated a speakeasy during prohibition known as, "Mr. O'Brien's Club Tipperary". The password to get in was, "storm's a-brewin'". In 1933, after the repeal of prohibition, he moved across the street, opened Pat O'Briens, and later down to the present location at 718 St. Peter, in the French Quarter. During WWII, it was difficult to get whiskey, but rum was in ample supply. With the help of the liquor salesman, this cocktail was born. It is served in a 26 oz. Hurricane glass, which is named after the shape of a hurricane lamp and the drink.

Zip-a-disk-doo-dah

So I haven't been able to update my website since my old computer crashed. My web pages are saved onto these zip disks (a drive for which Babbette, my new computer, doesn't have). So since work's been a little slow the past couple of days I figured I'd go to Best Buy, get a new zip drive and work on my web page at work.

Interestingly enough, when I asked the Best Buy Guy where their zip drives were, he laughed at me and told me that they haven't carried zip drives in over a year.

Where was I for all that? Since when did zip drives become antiques? Probably while I was on tour with Everycity Children's Theatre for eight months. You leave town for a few weeks and when you come back, the whole world has moved on without you. It's like coming back from the War. Now I know how they felt in "The Best Years of Our Lives".

So I admitted defeat and resolved myself to an evening of viewing a bootleg copy of Disney's most popular banned film, 'The Song of the South' (thanks sis and brother-in-law!) in honor of our friends in the South who aren't able to watch their favorite movie because of the hurricane.

Is it politically correct? Hell no. Is it the most racist movie ever? Not a chance! Any of these "modern comedies" you see in the movies today are way more offensive than this colorful collection of fables! Sure, there are a few moments when you think, "Whoa, Walt...careful..." but for the most part, I loved it! And there are some satisfactual performances in it, too. Hattie McDaniel (aka "Mammy" from 'Gone With the Wind') has a large (and sassy) part and the scene where white little Johnny takes Uncle Remus' hand and tells him, "You're my best friend in the whole wide world!" almost brought a tear to my eye!

But the most satisfactual thing about the film is its subtlety. I think you'd have to actually see it to know what I mean by that, but I'll just say that nobody ever tells little Johnny, "You can't spend time with Uncle Remus because he's a slave." I mean, you know it's an issue, but nobody talks about it. It's just sort of understood. They don't beat you over the head with it like they might if the movie was made today. Heck, the antagonists are these two little white bullies who work on the plantation along with the slaves. Meanwhile, Uncle Remus is depicted as a pillar of strength and home-spun wisdom. What's not to love?

I guess people had a problem with the fact that Uncle Remus is always so upbeat even though he's a slave. Hey, this ain't 'Beloved' folks (thank God).


The verdict? 'Song of the South' is actually a very mature film that deals with the race issue in a subtle but powerful way. It's one of my new favorite movies!

Yiddish Word of the Day

schlemiel \shluh-MEEL\ noun: an unlucky bungler : chump

Everyone Needs a Virtual Pet!

You're the Top

Imagine for a moment that you've just parked your car on the 10th floor of the parking garage. You avoid the elevator, as usual, and begin to descend the stairs, setting a good example--one that will, hopefully, inspire the donut munchers to follow suit. As you hop down to the next landing, you look out the all-glass wall of the stairwell (it's a fancy stairwell) and notice that your building is surrounded by fire trucks.

You stop for a moment, look over your shoulder, and decide, should the building begin to collapse, you ought to have enough time to dash over to some safe nook in the garage, provided the glass wall you're looking out of doesn't shatter and cut you into a thousand pieces.

Then you think, "This is Everycity, USA. Why would the terrorists want to attack Everycity, USA?" You're reassured somewhat by the fact that people aren't running screaming from the building either. So down the stairs you go, steeling yourself for possible disaster every step of the way as you keep a close watch the firemen. It occurs to you that there are no dalmatians on the trucks.

You enter the building and find that the lobby is packed with people. The elevators aren’t working. You consider this for a moment and wonder if anybody is stuck in the elevator. You secretly wish that you were the one lucky enough to get stuck in the elevator, as upon your eventual emergence the crowds of reporters would anoint you a hero (the latest trend in news broadcasting, it seems, is to label people “heroes” who, by dumb luck, happen to survive something unpleasant. “Timmy O’Guggenheim was attacked by a bear but survived when the loss of blood caused him to pass out, causing the bear to lose interest in its meal. Timmy’s a real hero!” or “Abigail Flimflam was stuck in a tree, but the fire department came to her rescue. She’s a real hero!” or “Baby Jessica fell down a well and hundreds of people worked tirelessly to get her out. She’s a real hero!”). As you imagine your fifteen minutes of fame, somewhere in the distance you hear the voice of the late Madeline Kahn singing, “I’m stuck in the elevator!”

You’re roused from your daydream when you realize that the folks on 42 (your supervisor among them) probably have no idea that the elevators are down. Do you do as everyone else does and continue to mill about, letting your life be ruled by technology gone wrong?

You imagine the day oil runs out or when the next ice age hits and how helpless everyone will feel; how people will turn back, saying, “The elevators are out. I’m going home. It’s impossible to get up to the 42nd Floor today.”

Impossible, eh?

Not for you! You’ll not let this little glitch get in your way. “I’m young and healthy," you say to yourself. "I walk up to the 10th floor of the parking garage every day. I bet I could scale this building!”

And so you march yourself proudly to the stairwell. You fling open the door and begin the climb to the 42nd Floor.

However, by the time you reach the 23rd floor, another thought occurs to you.

“This was a stupid idea.”

Covered in sweat and struggling to catch your breath, you consider turning back for a moment. No. Perish the thought! You can’t turn back now. You’re more than halfway there! Onward and upward!

Up, up, and up some more. Around and around you go. 27. 28. 29. You remember hearing a story from your childhood about a little dog that fell into a swimming pool and went into “survival mode” swimming in circles for hours and hours until its owner found it and plucked the quivering, disoriented canine from the draught.

"But who will fish me out of the stairwell?" you cry. Why, no-one! You must be strong and continue! After all, life is full of enormous challenges and metaphorical mountains to climb! Only this one is a bit more literal.

Finally, you fall onto the door marked “42” and fling it open. You made it! Only…this doesn’t look like the 42nd floor you know…

You took the wrong stairwell. You’re on the west side of the building which they've sealed off because they’re doing construction and renovations.

Happy Thursday!

A True Servant's Heart

So Consuela needs a small stack of seven pages copied. They aren’t stapled, they aren’t double-sided, there’s nothing fancy to them at all. Just pop them in the copy machine and they’ll be done in less than thirty seconds.

She gets up from her desk and walks past the copy machine, through the file room, to my desk and says, “I need one copy of this for Mr. Archibald.”

She turns around and walks back to her desk. I get up, following right behind her with papers in hand, put the papers in the copy machine, hit go, grab a binder clip (Mr. Archibald has an aversion to paper clips), clip the fresh-made copies together and give them to Consuela just as she’s sitting back down and getting comfortable in her foam rubber office chair.

Every now and then one has to suppress the urge to say, “Why can’t you do it yourself?”

Hey, that’s what I’m here for.

New Member of the Family

Everybody say hello to Rex 2.0! He's my new digital puppy for my high-tech Nintendo DS! You interact with him with the stylus and talk to him via the built-in microphone!

No, he's not a schnoodle. He's a golden retriever pup. Isn't technology great? This puppy looks and acts like the real thing, only he's just a bunch of polygons! And just think--he doesn't shed, he doesn't make messes, he doesn't need to be let out, if I miss a feeding he won't die, and better yet, he's programmed to remain a puppy forever! He won't go through that weird dog-adolescent phase that nobody really likes. What could be better? It makes you wish real dogs and cats were more like the ones in video games, huh? Someday they may even supplant real-life animal companions...and those have stood the test of time. I love technology!

I want to be doing this...for MONEY!

Ask Nelson! 8/22/05

Nelson,

What's your opinion on all of Fork's high-tech gadgets like his computer, cell phone, GameCube, DS, TV, DVD player and iPod? Do you ever feel like he loves his "stuff" more than he loves you?

Outdoorsy in Duluth


Dear Outdoorsy,

Ah, yes. Fork's stuff. Well, sure, I occasionally feel a bit "out of the loop" since the most high-tech thing I can do is run around the apartment yowling at invisible pests (lol!), but you know as well as I do that no cold, unfeeling concoction of wires and batteries could ever compete with a wet nose, a soft purr and a pair of whiskers. I mean, he loves me. Of course he does. He spends a lot of time in front of his computer but he loves me too. I mean, he loves me more than his computer. It's not like he could ever replace me. He knows that. And I know that. And I'm fine with it. Really. He'll always love me more than technology. That's the one thing that's stood the test of time, right? Animal companions. He loves me. I'm not worried about this. At all. Everything's fine. Of course it is. Yes, thank you for the question. I have to go now.

Nelson.

Your Foot

I got this as a forward from Candie, our receptionist. I have no idea what they're talking about. I managed to do it. I even had witnesses. Can you do it? Post a comment if you can or can't. I'd like to know if I really am special.



The Forwarded Email:

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. And there's nothing you can do about it!

Another Useful Word

Don't let this to happen to you! Thanks to Nimber for teaching me this one.

Mojito Madness!

I have to admit, working for Eventual Practical Financial Services Corp. definitely has its perks. Not only do I get a paycheck every other Thursday (YES!), I also get loads of free stuff!

Planes are crashing, Natalee's still missing, Jews are being evicted, BTK is going to trial, Iraq is struggling with its constitution, and the release date for the new Zelda game has been pushed back to 2006, but amidst all the chaos, Eventual still finds time to party.

Last night we had our company outing and I learned what a mojito was.

I'll never be the same.

According to the official recipe, which we all received a copy of last night, "You must add love, care and patience when you mix a Mojito."

The drink looks really weird, doesn't it? That's because there are smushed up limes and spearmint leaves floating in it, along with all that love, care and patience.

If you want to try one, I'll be serving them at my apartment henceforth.

Y'know, it's high time they figured out how to make a drink with love as one of the main ingredients. Forget Coke! I'd like to buy the world a mojito!

How to Straighten Your Hair

Forkish Fashion
Curls are Outrée!

Okay, so the Shakespearean production is over. Time to give up that "artist" 'do and go with something a bit more conservative before the boss starts breathing down your neck. What's that? You want to be a pirate for Halloween? Don't be cheap! Fork over the money for a wig! What? But you want to use your hair? Well, all right, but don't say I didn't warn you. The first thing we need to do is get rid of those unruly curls. After all, nothing says, "Fire me now!" like a head of hippie hair.

Let's say you wake up looking like this:

Tragic. You're on your way to the poorhouse.

But wait--you have a cheap bottle of extra-strength hair gel left over from the last period play you did? There may be hope yet!

Dampen that hair! Then, with your fingers, comb a small amount of the goo through your locks.

Et voila! What? No, no, no! That won't do at all! You need something to hold it in place before your hair dries and your head looks like an explosion at a bed-spring factory!

Yes, that will do nicely. Now wear that hat until you get to work, then carefully remove it...

And there you have it! It still says "artist" but it doesn't say "will work for food"! Congratulations!

So true

Good and Bad Children
by Robert Louis Stevenson (the very same)

CHILDREN, you are very little,
And your bones are very brittle;
If you would grow great and stately,
You must try to walk sedately.

You must still be bright and quiet,
And content with simple diet;
And remain, through all bewild’ring,
Innocent and honest children.

Happy hearts and happy faces,
Happy play in grassy places—
That was how, in ancient ages,
Children grew to kings and sages.

But the unkind and the unruly,
And the sort who eat unduly,
They must never hope for glory—
Theirs is quite a different story!

Cruel children, crying babies,
All grow up as geese and gabies,
Hated, as their age increases,
By their nephews and their nieces.



Sucks to be a cruel child, huh?

ExCiTeMeNt!!!

What a day! What a day!!! There was a TON of mail to log in, but there's always a lot of mail on Mondays. But on top of that, I stocked the fridge and did the daily log, put paper in the copy machine and called in our drink delivery order for this week. But BEST of all, I finally found where to file this certain document that's been sitting in the "To File" box for OVER A WEEK! WooT! And it's only 1:00 and I've ALREADY guzzled down TWO bottles of water! I don't usually get to two until...well...2! What a DAY! I can't wait to see what happens this afternoon!

Ask Nelson!

Dear Nelson,
What’s this I hear about you being part schnoodle? I thought a schnoodle was a half-schnauzer, half-poodle mix. How can you be half-dog? You’re a cat.
-Confused in Topeka

Dear Confused,
As I was found in the woods as a feral kitten, many have attempted to romanticize my origins by suggesting that I’m half-cat, half-some other animal. This half-schnoodle thing is news to me. I’ll add it to the ever-growing list of creatures that folks seem to think I’m related to. Here are a few of the more popular ones:

• Raccoon
• Long-Tailed Piglet
• Weasel

And now schnoodle. Let me assure you that, as far as I’m aware, I’m 100% all-American felis domesticus and proud of it! Thanks for the question. Hope this clears a few things up.

-Nelson

A Great Word to Know

Defenestration: \de·fen·es·tra·tion\ n : An act of throwing someone or something out of a window. ex: "Quick! Let's defenestrate him!"


I suppose you could also use this word to describe uninstalling a program from your Microsoft OS?

Ask Nelson!

Dear Nelson,
You're a cat. Do you ever get bored sitting in Fork's apartment all day? I mean, you've got nothing to read, no movies to watch, and you don't know how to operate a computer. You must be bored out of your mind!
-Cooped Up in Wichita


Dear Cooped,
What are you talking about? Being a cat is great! I get to sleep all day, I don't have to go to work, I chase invisible critters around the apartment, I eat the finest of dry cat food and have plenty of soft things to sit on while I spend my few waking hours grooming myself. Just remember, you can't be a failure if you have no ambitions!
-Nelson

Today's Lunch

What it is: 'Taste of the Orient' Chicken 'n' Rice (my own recipe!)

Notes: Some Rice-a-Roni, a can of chicken, some sliced almonds, two handfuls of raisins, and a dash or two of curry powder, dry mustard, ginger, and black pepper, and you've got yourself a little taste of India right in your own kitchen!

Verdict: I think I used WAY too much ginger (I sampled it last night and now my stomach is gurgling uncomfortably). My bowels may be in agony but dang, it's so easy to scoop a couple of spoonfuls of this into a tupperware bowl and take it to Floor 42! India-gestion be damned! This one gets a very respectable three snoozes.

Today's Lunch

What it is: A small beef and bean chili with a free cube of jalapeno cornbread

Notes: Wednesday is chili day. The cajun restaurant across the street has a special where if you buy a chili of any size you get a free hunk of cornbread to go with it! Delish! And what's more, I don't have to make it!

Verdict: No leftover spaghetti noodles today! Four snoozes.

Dostoevsky

As my friend Krischinn is on the lam with her beaux, I've had to sit down this morning and think a bit about crime and punishment. I didn't come up with much, other than bright sunlight shining in your eyes is still not a good reason to kill a person. Krischinn, if you're reading this blog, please come home! Turn yourself in!

If there's one thing I've learned from my time here at Eventual, it's that there's darkness inside the human soul. No, I'm not talking about corporate greed, I'm talking about flat-out, no holds barred, what-the-crap evil. How did I learn about it? It's all thanks to my dear friend, Nimber O'Werner (not her real name--since I'm giving pseudonymns to everyone else mentioned on this blog I figured she ought to have one too). Nimber is a charming girl; well brought-up, polite, mannerly (which, I suppose, is the same thing), and has pleasant facial structure.

But Nimber is also inquisitive. Like a cat. And one dark day she stumbled onto the Online Crime Library. She told me tales of the weird and stories that shock. I soon found myself sucked into that tangled web of the wicked.

Yessir, I've whiled away many a passing hour at Eventual, clicking from one page to the next, devouring this sensationalist tripe like so much chocolate covered glass (tastes good, but tears up your insides on the way out). Would you like to meet some of these colorful characters? Don't worry, they can't hurt you. This is only a blog.

A little priest, anyone? Sweeny Todd was real! Here's an actual picture of his barber shop! Mrs. Lovett's pie shop was just a few doors down. They teamed up to dispose of Todd's many victims. What, with the price of meat what it is, when you get it. If you get it.

An artist's rendition of what Jack the Ripper probably looked like! They've finally solved the mystery! He was also reported to have a real taste for chocolate.

Roxie Hart! The murderous flapper who wasted her life on booze and jazz!

But worst of them all, here's little Rhoda Penmark, the Bad Seed herself! Don't cross this little sociopath or you'll find yourself sleeping with the fishes, set on fire, beaten to death with tap shoes, pushed down a flight of stairs...there's nothing she won't do! The classic argument for birth control.

Today's Lunch

What it was: Leftover Spaghetti Noodles in Olive Oil (with Parmesean Cheese)

Notes: I discovered this one a few months ago when I made some spaghetti but forgot that I didn't have any sauce. Like yesterday's lunch, this one took some effort--perhaps more. The noodles kept flopping all over the place, for one thing. Then came the task of assembling all the other ingredients. And that dang parmesean cheese! It always gets so clumpy at the bottom of the tube! You have to reach in and crush it up with your fingers! Why couldn't those soccer moms who got mad at Kraft for putting trans-fats in their kids cookies have done something about the rocks of parmesean cheese at the bottom of the tube?

Verdict: It tastes great and everyone knows how good olive oil is for you. But have YOU tried pouring just the right amount of olive oil into a tupperware bowl full of floppy noodles just after rolling out of bed? Don't even get me started on the clumpy parmesean. One snooze.

Don't be hatin', be hydratin'!

I drink three of these babies a day! They're free (thanks, Eventual!) and they don't taste like milk! Don't forget to recycle!

(Almost) Every Word is True

Consuela, Mr. Archibald's assistant, was out of the office for a few days last week and Eventual, not wanting to plunk down the cash for a temp, turned its lusty gaze in my direction. I suddenly found myself in the curious world of administrative assistants, booking non-refundable $1,300 business trips with each click of my mouse...and not a day's worth of training!

Archibald: (upon his return from a business trip) Please, when you make my hotel reservations, do not book me at a place that charges more than $500 a night. I stay at the Gruntle Hotel all the time and suddenly their prices are through the roof. Can you explain that to me? Catterwaul & Malapert have a special rate with the Plaza and they got me a fabulous room for $250 a night. Why can't we have a deal like that?

Me: I don't know.

Archibald: I just don't understand it. I'm not going to pay $500 a night. That's just ridiculous. I don't want to stay at the Gruntle anymore. They're not going to get our business as long as their prices are as ridiculous as that.

Me: Okay.

Archibald: Ridiculous.

(later, I enter Archibald's office with his travel arrangements in hand)

Me: Okay Mr. Archibald, I've got a great hotel. It's only $275 a night and it's not far from where the conference is going to be. It's the SingleTree Cosmopolitan--

Archibald: No.

Me: Uhh...is something wrong with the location or...?

Archibald: (incredulously) I am NOT staying at a SingleTree.

Me: Oh. Uhhh...okay.

Archibald: Just put me at the same hotel I was at last time.

Me: But I thought--

Archibald: What's this? (Archibald examines the list of available hotels) The Gruntle is seventy dollars cheaper than it was last time!

Me: Yes it is.

Archibald: Why is that?

Me: I'm sorry. I don't know.

Archibald: Well it's so different from before. I mean, was there something going on that made it more expensive last time? Was there some sort of convention?

Me: I think rates just fluctuate depending on events in the City and how much in advance you book your room.

Archibald: I want to stay at the Gruntle. The more often you stay in one place the better a relationship you build. Catterwaul & Malapert have a special rate with the Plaza and you get those sorts of perks by being a faithful customer. Where did you get this hotel list?

Me: I got it from Hotel Online Website just like every other time--

Archibald: Well I think there must be something wrong with the website. I think it must be broken.

Me: (unsure of what to say) Okay.

Archibald: I think the people on that website need to be informed that the prices for hotel rooms are changing at a ridiculous rate.

Me: Okay.

Archibald: (picking up a piece of paper) By the way, did you fax this out?

Me: Yes. I faxed it out when you told me to and put it back in your inbox because I thought you--

Archibald: Remember how I told you early last week that when you fax something out you need to mark the date and time it was faxed at the bottom of the page?

Me: Yes. I remember. So sorry.

Artists in Business

I know what you're thinking. How in the world do I pull off that devil-may-care look without getting myself fired? Well, my friends, in the next few days I'll share with you some tried-and-true fashion tips that will help you maintain that "artist!" look without putting your paycheck on the line! Here's a little preview of what's to come:

Forkish Fashion
DAT SHAGGY 'DO

Let's say one of your fellow employees passes by your desk and comments that you're looking a little scruffy lately.

"It's for a show," you'll reply. "You know. Shakespeare."

Dropping the "S bomb" is your key to victory! Not even corporate fatcats can compete with the Bard--and they know it! Soon you'll be the most interesting person on your floor and everyone will be asking you, "How's play practice going?" and "Have you been to any more try-outs?" Not only will you get to keep your artistic-looking curly locks, you'll get a tiny taste of what it's like to be famous!

Note: This is much easier to pull off if you're actually in a Shakespearean production. Don't forget, it's a sin to tell a lie! :^)

Analyst's Exam

I was cleaning out my desk this morning and found this. Last year Eventual was doing some pretty heavy-duty recruiting and I got my paws on a copy of the written test they were giving potential analysts. Do you think I have what it takes to be an analyst?

EVENTUAL PRACTICAL FINANCIAL SERVICES CORP.
Analyst Candidates' Technical Exam
October 2004
Name: Forky Fourchette III, esq., CPA

1. Which one of the three financial statements would you choose to evaluate a company? Please elaborate on your choice.
I wouldn't use any of the three financial statements. Rather, I would evaluate a company based on what floor it's on and how many windows it has. Everybody knows that the higher the floor, the more prestigious the company. Nobody respects the people on 12 or 18. For all we know, that's probably where the mail room is! But you can bet they won't put the mail room on the 52nd floor! And you need lots of big windows to enjoy the great view.

2. If UBITEA has historically been strong, what are some reasons cash flow from operations might be negative? (What are the limitations of using UBITEA as a proxy for cash flow?)
Cash flow is never negative. Getting money is a good thing no matter how you look at it. Using UBITEA can be limiting because very few people actually know what UBITEA stands for and the ones who do are probably too smart for their own good and should be fired at once before they start embezzling or money laundering and other things of that ilk.

3. Define the fed funds rate, discount rate and prime rate. What are the current levels of each?
Fed Funds rate is how much food costs for office parties over the course of the year and how many people ate at them.
Discount rate - duh! It's how much of a discount you get!
Prime rate is like prime rib and generally refers to expensive things like diamonds, furs, sports cars, and wildlife preserves.

The current levels of all these rates are looking pretty good, but, as my accounting professor might say, the 2nd Great Depression may only be weeks away so don't be too optimistic.

4. In a rising price environment, which inventory accounting method, LUFO or FUFO, provides more accurate inventory values? Why?
It's best to use a combination of the two (LUFOFUFO) to get accurate results, although I've also found that methods such as FOFFOBOFFO, GOGOGAGA, HENNYPENNY, GOOSEYLOOSEY, TURKEYLURKEY, and FOXYLOXY work just as well. Especially when there are rumors about declining overheads. I don't know why they work. They just do.

5. Would a note be more expensive for an issuer to call at "treasury flat" or "treasury +50" at the time of the call? Please explain your answer. (Hint: Think discount rate.)
One could call at either place and it would be equally expensive--Treasury Flat being a ritzy apartment complex and Treasury +50 being a fancy retirement home. My recommendation would be to review your current telephone usage and choose the plan that's right for you.

6. Describe two different methods of revenue recognition. Under what circumstances would a company choose the methods you have described?
First you check the little details like the serial number and the designs that frame the edges. Those are very difficult to forge. Then you check and see if it has that new watermark design when you hold it up to the light. Those are two ways to ensure your revenue is legit and not just "funny money". Any smart company would always use these methods.

7. In accounting for equity ownership in another firm, what conditions must qualify for the equity method?
The best ones. Pure and simple.

8. Why do you think EPFSCorp. conducts its own credit analysis even if the company has S&P or Moody's ratings?
Because they don't trust them! In this world of charlatans and snake-oil salesmen you can never be too careful. As my accounting professor says, "Chapter Eleven comes right after chapter ten, and that's the best chapter in the book."

9. Other than an increased probability of bankruptcy, describe another major disadvantage of high financial leverage?
Death. And the economic collapse of America. And global warming.

10. How would you evaluate a company differently when considering investing debt vs. equity.
I would never judge someone differently based on something as petty as that. I believe that everyone deserves an equal chance to succeed and labels like the ones mentioned above are hurtful & destructive. Instead, I would evaluate a company based on how nice the office looks, how high up it is, and how many windows it has, which are unmistakable signs of class and prestige.

Today's Lunch

What It Was: Leftover Chicken-Marinara Spaghetti (with a shot of Tabasco).

Notes: This one took a little more effort than most of my lunches do/should. Instead of scooping up a single spoonful of something and slopping it into a tupperware container, I had to make two trips; one scoop for the noodles and another scoop for the sauce.

Vertict: Not as difficult as the common sandwich but not as easy as beans 'n' franks, preparing leftover spaghetti for a trip to the office takes some effort. Two Snoozes.

(Note: This rating system is based on the speed with which you can throw together your daily lunch and run out the door. The quicker it is, the more times you can hit the snooze button on your alarm clock!)

Welcome

Welcome, one and all, to the 42nd Floor. This blog is dedicated to all the creative, artsy, crafty, acty, singey, guitary, harmonicay, trumpety, mandoliny, poety, writery, painty, ice sculpty, ice skatey, ice creamy, basket weavy, traditional folk dancey, RenFest-style swordfighty, water ballety people of the world who woke up one morning and realized they were caught in the clutches of a soulless, dull, yet lucrative career filing papers, making copies, and sharpening pencils in a downtown skyscraper.

This is my first blog so bear with me as I get the hang of this. I think we're gonna have a lot of fun...