Wednesday, June 14, 2006

A Little Peek

So I almost left the 42nd Floor forever last Friday. Because of Yasriel.

I can't take this abuse anymore. She's a temp! She's completely out of line talking to me this way!

Maybe she wouldn't talk to you like that if you knew what you were doing.

I know what I'm doing! I've worked here for two years.

You think you know what you're doing, but you know you're a charlatan.

What are you talking about?

You know what I mean. Any day now they're going to realize you're completely clueless about your job.

That's insane! I couldn't work in a place for two years without knowing a little something about it!

It happens to those illiterate kids all the time. They can't read, yet they still get passed on to the seventh grade.

Oh my gosh. You're right.

Of course I'm right.

But still--that's no reason for her to condescend to me the way she does!

If you were nicer she wouldn't talk to you like that.

What?

Face it. You're a jerk. People are mean to mean people.

That's not true! I've tried really hard to be nice to--

You have a bad temper. If you weren't so mean to her you wouldn't have these problems.

Wait...no...that's not...I...

Tsk, tsk... it seems to me that she's not the problem. You are.

You're right. I'm a loose cannon. I'm out of control. I should just sit here quietly. And take it. Take it like the bitch that I am.

Aww...There's no reason to talk like that.

That's true, I guess. I may feel weak and powerless at work, but I feel confident when I'm on the stage. I mean, I do have great abs.

Didn't you have a beer this weekend?

Yes. But it was just one. We all went out and everyone said to have one so I thought, eh, what could it hurt?

Poor Forky.

What? What "Poor Forky"?

So innocent. So naive. Don't you realize? They're trying to sabotage everything you've worked for.

They are?

Oh yes. They're jealous of you.

They are?

They're angry because they wish they could have great abs. That's why they ply you with pastries and truffles and cheese fries.

What? No! They're my friends!

No they're not. I'm your friend. They want you to fail!

Yes, I guess you--I guess you're right. I have noticed a certain...animosity...

Just listen to me. I'll take care of you.

Yes...yes...

I'm your REAL friend. Not like those other people...

Yes...

What are you doing!? No candy for you!

Just...one...little taste?

No! Only green leaves for the next two weeks! Why aren't you doing crunches?

I did them this morning. I'm tired.

SLOTH!

I--! I--! I need to see my therapist!

To be continued...

6 comments:

Bibb Leo File said...

Gosh, you're nutty. You know, you should probably just commit yourself as soon as possible...

He reminds you a little too much of someone else, eh?

What? No, I'm fine; this is about crazy ol' Forky!

Is it? Hmm, how interesting.

Stop being coy! It's creepy!

Do you think so? What does that say about you? Paranoia...

AARRGGHHH! I'll join you at the therapist!

AmberO at Sleeping is for Sissies said...

Just make sure when you "leave the 42nd floor forever," you take the elevator or the stairs down. They may not be the quickest ways, but they're better for your health.

Tracy said...

Tell that inner critic to shut up...and then have a Baby Ruth!

The Cliff said...

Baby Ruth??? You see who your real friends are Forky...Remember Girls don't like slobs...and then the only parts you'll get are the awkward sidekick...Like Philip Seymour Hoffman before he lost weight!!

Anonymous said...

Fatso.

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