Friday, June 09, 2006

Best Ever, week 23

I'm really tempted to make this week's best ever, "Full Body Fear Workouts" (that is, being so frightened about something you clench your abs, your heart-rate skyrockets, your breathing becomes quick and shallow, cold sweat drips down your furrowed brow...) but I vowed long ago that the Best Evers would be real things to be happy about--no fake stuff.

There can only be one winner. And this is it:

BEST EVER
week 23
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Fake Happiness

Fake Happiness works like Real Happiness only it's not real. It's fake. Let's say you're a go-go girl who has been rehearsing a show for months. The director tells you to change something in the dumbshow transition to scene 1.4. Not too difficult, right?

Muscle memory kicks in, however, and you, go-go girl number 2, forget the note the director gave you the night before. The director, who is just as tired and nervous as you are, yells. Everyone gets scared.
Now let's say you're an actor who's been observing from the sidelines.

You've got to do something. The go-go girls are upset and nervous. Morale is plunging. Now's the time for a little Fake Happiness.

"This is gonna be the best scene transition ever, y'all," you say from backstage like Guffman's Parker Posey.

The go-go girls look at you as if to say, "Is this...happiness?"

"Oh YEAH! Scene 1.4 Transition '06! Go us!"

Later, after dancer girl number four looks like she's about to cry, you look at the big fake moon hanging behind the set and say, in total seriousness, "I don't think there are enough werewolves in this show."

"There aren't any werewolves in this show," says the girl.

"You're right... Wanna put some in?"

And you both howl at the fake moon.

The best thing about Fake Happiness is that, if you fake it long enough, Fake Happiness can morph into Real Happiness! It doesn't last long, but it should be enough to get you through rehearsal and to the ice-cold beer that's waiting for you at home. And that's why Fake Happiness is this week's

BEST EVER
For real!


Honorable Mention: Tracy's Beauty Contest, Beer, Damien's Birthday (he's three days old today)

9 comments:

AmberO at Sleeping is for Sissies said...

Fake happiness is GREAT. And it really can create real happiness. Smiling releases endorphins, you know. Way to cheer up the cast!

(Hey, where was this Forky during ATTC4M:RTWOAF?)

Bibb Leo File said...

There really aren't enough werewolves in Midsummer. A few of them running through the fairy forest ripping apart the lovers and slashing open the merchants' guild members would really spice up the show.

How we make it more scary?

Huzzah to more lycanthropes!

Anonymous said...

Forky didn't make it into work today on account of fatigue, apathy, and 6 beers.

Fork said...

Your fake enthusiasm is underwhelming.

Tee hee

Moderator said...

Booze makes fake happiness much more believable. I'm so happy I read this.

Grizham said...

I crave fake happiness

Tracy said...

Wow! Thanks for the honorable mention, Forky! That made me REAL happy (not even just fake happy!). Hope all is well in Everycity! Have a nice weekend.

The Cliff said...

I agree with Grant...only I think booze makes everything more believable!!...wait I got to Jerusalem on the Bazos U!!! I can't say that out loud...damn, now i'll have to whack someone baptist!!

secret word...wuthf...i think you can all figure it out!!

Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. »