Thursday, June 01, 2006

Elevator Etiquette

Chivalry is not dead. However, if left unchecked, it can get in the way of the simplest tasks.

If, for example, you are a male getting onto an elevator with two females, the polite thing would be to work your way to the back of the car and, once you reach your destination, let the ladies get out first. Such polite behavior facilitates quick and easy exits and shows the ladies you have respect for the delicate sex.

However, if you are a male getting onto an elevator already packed with females, the sensible thing to do would be to quickly exit the elevator as soon as the doors open again.

Unfortunately, some gentlemen don't realize that common sense always trumps chivalry. It is not unusual to see elevator doors open with a big man standing awkwardly in the doorway, saying sheepishly, “Please, go ahead,” to the ladies who have to crawl over him to exit.

Don’t be that guy. Get off the freakin' elevator.

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Good! The ladies will appreciate your thoughtfulness!

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Bad! The ladies will wonder why the crap you're just standing there!

11 comments:

AmberO at Sleeping is for Sissies said...

So true. Especially if you're a big blue blob! Just get out of the way, giant blob!

Fork said...

One thing at a time, Matt. One thing at a time.

Tracy said...

Forky, come visit the Star Shine Report. I gave you a shout out today! :)

Bibb Leo File said...

This brings up a similar problem that occurs at 4-way stop signs. I like to call it "the wave-off."

Everyone arrives at the same time and just sits there, idling and trying to figure out if anyone else will go first.

After several infuriating moments, one or more of the drivers begins to alternately wave the others ahead and inch intimidatingly forward into the intersection. What the crap?! If you're waving someone else ahead, don't try to run them down while they're taking advantage of your kindness!

By the way, the official rule here is that when two cars arrive at a stop-sign intersection at the exact same moment, the car on the right goes first. Tell your friends.

Queen, III said...

And really, would it matter if you were a man or a woman? I mean, if everyone behind you is getting off, wouldn't be always most efficient to just step off the elevator so everyone behind doesn't have to crawl over you, and according to your picture, walk all over your face?

Fork said...

If things ran according to that twisted logic, Queen III, it would take the world twice as long to go around.

Fork said...

Bibb, I'm with you. Politeness and the wheel do not mix.

AmberO at Sleeping is for Sissies said...

Wait, we shouldn't be polite while driving? You've been living in Everycity waaaay too long.

Fork said...

No, no. You know...like when you're trying to make a left turn on a yield and the person coming your direction decides to stop and smile and wave you through while the pickup truck behind them honks and begins tearing around the nice guy--and almost plows into you because you started going because of the nice guy who should have just gone through the intersection!

Don't be nice! Just go! GO GO GO! FASTER! FASTER! FASTER!

I heart subways.

Anonymous said...

Forky... tell the truth... you're the fat guy, aren't you?

The Cliff said...

Forky...the fat guy...hahahaha...what happen to all those crunches???