Sunday, July 20, 2008

Messiah


I haven't seen this movie, but from what I've heard...

This man's performance is a miracle.

If you have hungry children, bring them into the multiplex. The will emerge two and a half hours later with bags of groceries that can never be emptied.

If you have a loved one with cancer, take them to see this movie. They will emerge completely cured.

If you have wrinkles, you can't afford not to see it. You will leave the theater looking ten years younger.

If you're lost, depressed, or feel you have no direction in life, take heart. Saint Heath-Joker has overcome the world.

Gone With the Wind, Casablanca,Citizen Kane...forget them! For the Dark Knight surpasses them all.

At least, that's what everybody in New York is saying.

I, for one, am excited to see this miracle performance that reportedly feeds the hungry and heals the sick. I've got a pulled groin that has been killing me! Heal me, Saint Wall-E! I mean Saint Obama! I mean Saint Heath-Joker, fad of the week! Heal me!

* * *

Quoth one of my buddies on the over-excited adults who insist this movie is the greatest of them all, "They still want all their kiddie stuff and comic book movies but it has to be presented hyper-realistic, serious, and violent just so they can see their kiddie movie without being made fun of."

Hmm. Interesting. You can BET you'll see my opinion up here the second I get back from the flick! And don't worry, I'll be wearing my objectivity goggles, although, I must admit, they'll probably be smudged a bit from this non-stop effusion of bat-praise being poured out upon the streets by every person I pass.

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