GUESS WHAT?!
The results are in!
The nurse was both horrified and intrigued!
More blood was drawn! An EKG was performed!
I am the lucky carrier of borrelia burgdorferi! a.k.a. LYME DISEASE!
Named for the tiny town of Lyme, Connecticut, Lyme disease was finally "discovered" in 1975 when a bunch of housewives banded together to figure out why all their little children had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.
The doctor who went over all my symptoms and checked out all my target-shaped rashes had the TIME OF HER LIFE. She said she specialized in infectious diseases or something like that and I was the second-ever person she'd seen who had (by her estimation anyway) the classic, textbook case of Give-This-Kid-Some-Antibiotics-STAT! Lyme disease. Big smile on her face the whole time. And since I was the textbook case, I got the textbook treatment.
Quoth I: "There's a rash on my foot, one by my knee, one on my groin by my lymph node, and one on my shoulder that's new as of this weekend."
"You probably didn't know you also have a HUGE one on your back, did you?"
"Excuse me?"
"Yes, you probably can't see it. But it's very large and very pronounced. Wow. This is so cool. Does your liver hurt?"
I guess the guys at the lake this weekend thought I just had a target-shaped sunburn on my back. Or maybe that the target was to show New York theatre where to aim when looking for a bright new star. Or maybe to show people where to direct their gifts of money and expensive electronics.
I suppose what they say is true:
I get lyme with a little help from my friends.
Fortunately, one EKG later, my disease-loving doctor got a $10 bottle of Doxycycline into my rashy hands and the first of 42 pills has been ingested.
Hopefully it won't turn out like this. (watching) Oh man. That's not even funny. Oh my gawd. Uhh...I wonder if I can take two of those pills...
Okay! Start sending your get-well gifts and care packages!
2 comments:
Target-shaped? Yesterday I had to do a proclamation for a disease day (don't ask) and one of the symptoms was a target-shaped rash. Apparently, bullseye rashes can be a symptom of certain drug interactions. If you had been taking medications before the symptoms started, you may want to make sure your doctor knows (although hopefully he/she asked about that!)
Here's some info from a kids' web site, although there are actually several related syndromes and the one I was reading about yesterday was actually more common in people 20-40 years old.
http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/skin/erythema_multiforme.html
No drugs for me. Outside of GNC's Mega Men Daily Men's MultiSportsVitamin for Men and some Tylenol here and there.
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