A phone from the late 90s or early 00s!
Remember those days?
That was back when all a cell phone could do was make phone calls. None of this fancy text messaging or email stuff.
I've tried to get my Blackberry to realize this is a terrible idea for a Halloween costume, but it's not listening to me. In fact, I think this new "Retro-Berry" is here to stay.
It won't listen to me. I've called friends. I've sought advice. I even, at one point of weakness, went to a store and said, "Give me an iPhone." (clerk stared blankly at me) "FULL PRICE!" (clerk's eyes went wide and a "Sir! Think about what you're SAYING!" dialogue ensued).
So the clerk, who was supposed to snicker as he took my money, basically bitch slapped me and told me to pull it together. It was then that I realized what I almost did. And I wept bitter tears.
Folks...I need email.
I need it like a fish needs the sea. Like a baby needs a diaper. Like a whore needs Jesus.
But it looks like I'm going to have to go without from here on out. When I'm on my breaks during those long modeling gigs, instead of sending emails or live-blogging, looks like I'll have to read a crappy book like this modern young thing.
Yeah. She looks THRILLED to be stuck with a back-issue of "Smart Set Magazine".
And I'm WAY ahead of you. I thought about groveling to my parents, pulling a "Prodigal Son's Christmas" and asking for my Christmas present now so I could buy the stupid toy--which, by the way, they seem to take GREAT delight in brandishing before my iGreedy eyes saying, "Hey! We just got these cool new phones! Isn't this the phone you want? Huh. That's interesting. Well, they sure are cool! It's so cool to have the phone that you want! Guess your parents are pretty cool now, huh?"
But no. I do not grovel. I won't do it.
Me: Just come out with it. Everyone else is so proud of me and thinks I'm great but because I don't have money you guys think I'm a loser.
They: Oh no, honey. You're not a loser. You're just not living up to your full we just don't think you're living up to your full potential.
Me: So...you don't think I'm a loser...you just think I'm a loser right NOW.
They: Get a real job.
So yeah.
All that to say, if you send me an email, I won't get it until I get home and turn on my PC.
Or call me. Yeah.
Thanks.
McCain/Palin '08.
3 comments:
Hey, iPhone is only 200 bucks. Just put in a few more dangling hours and you've got the phone of your dreams!
Think about it. Freeeeeedom. Plus, a bunch of fun games!!!
Actually, Seth Ward, my love-hate relationship with my *brand new* iPhone has turned out to be a love-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE relationship.
It's like the Swiss Army knife of cell phones. All that stuff is cool, but do you really ever use that little toothpick?
Hey, if you like to get the corn on the cob out of your incisors! Heck yes!
Listen, the pc to mac bridge is always a little rough the first month. Most punctuated jumps in the technological evolutionary chain are for those that are used to using grunt-and-pound pc crap.
Things I use on my iPhone, daily:
The flashlight (Cool light feature that turns your little phone into a flashlight.)
Text
Itunes
Youtube
Safari (Unsurpassed in look and usability; It actually LOOKS like the internet.)
Email
Put Put golf
Pool
camera
stock market chart
weather
moby EXTENSIVE thesaurus
alarm clock
calculator (twice a week or so)
notes (to do list)
That's just me. Personalize the sucker, sucker!
Not to mention... THE PHONE.
I think the earbuds for phone use is one of the iPhone's bestestest features.
I'm about to add a compass. Me no homing pigeon.
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