Full Frontal

So my day of nudity begins on Central Park East with this guy who has been called by various publications "the 21st Century Rembrandt". Except he keeps pushing the time back. So what I thought would be three hours is now two and then I got an email asking if we could start 30 minutes later.

So yeah. That kind of sucks because I've been sitting on this bench on the edge of Central Park when I could have slep in a little bit.

I had real trouble sleeping last night. Honestly, it's because of all those dag-blamed Facebook status updates my stupid actor friends made after the debate. Got me allllll riled up. Freakin' actor hippies, thinking the Wicked Witch was just "misunderstood". That really gets my goat.

It was 1 in the morning before I finally fell asleep.

And it was 2 in the morning when my next door neighbor started sawing something. Yes, sawing something very loudly up against my rice paper wall.

Yeah. I don't know either.

So after my meeting with Rembrandt, it's off to the Barrio once again to pose for the craptacular Janut Collective.

I'm going to have to do a whole 'nuther post on this place. But for now, just be satisfied with this: the room is extremely dark and the only light they have is the natural light coming in through a tiny shaft in the ceiling which is painted blue-grey. The light bounces off that and onto me. So in the color studies these students are doing I look blue. Like a Smurf.

And they're drawing me with a slight pot belly and zero muscle definition.

And that sent me into a doozy of a dither, let me tell you. You did *not* want to see me at the gym this morning as I shot dirty looks at all the meat-head body builders for whom this whole thing is just some effortless, high protein cakewalk.

And one of the older women at the school smells *strongly* of Old Lady Smell. And that's just not right.

Okay. I guess I don't have to do a st about the Janut Collective after all.