Meet Japeth

I stepped out of the parking garage this morning and crossed the street to get to my building, home of the Eventual Practical Financial Services Inc. offices. As I did so, I ran into Japeth, one of our young employees who came to Eventual straight from business school and makes somewhere near six figures a year.

Japeth is tall, thin, and socially awkward. When you have a conversation, it's not uncommon for him to ask you an in-depth question like, "What's it like being an actor?"

You'll say, "Well, it's a lot of hard work but it's also very rewardi--"

"That's great. Have a good one." And he leaves.

He makes everyone feel weird. There's something...off about the boy.

He's also cheap. Super-cheap. If there's a catered breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, you name it...he seems to instinctively know that free food is in the building and he hovers over it like a vulture. And once it's announced that there are leftovers for the office to nibble on, he swoops in for the kill and eats so much you'd swear he has a tapeworm.

It would be one thing if Japeth were homeless and hadn't eaten in weeks.

But that's just not the case. The fact is, he works for one of the nicest companies in Everycity and gets a fat paycheck every two weeks.

Like I said, there's something off about the boy.

So I bumped into Japeth.

Japeth: Hey Forky. What's going on?

Me: Oh, not a whole lot.

(I notice Japeth is carrying a brown expandable file folder. I waste no time in observing it contains some papers, a sack lunch, an iPod and cell phone, a pair of oversized headphones...I can't resist asking...)

Me: You use a file folder as your bag?

Japeth: Yeah.

Me: That's... uhh... Why don't you use a proper bag to carry your stuff in?

Japeth: I dunno. Because this is easy.

Me: It's also free. I mean, you got that file from the Eventual Practical file room. (subtext: I can't believe how cheap you are!)

Now I'm willing to admit that, to save a few pennies, I've gone through some cheap phases. I've had my mooch phases. I've had my hoarding phases. Heck, I even "borrow" a few extra bottles of water from our company kitchen at the end of every day so I can have something to drink at the gym.

But if you asked me why I did that, I'd tell you, "I'm sticking it to the man."

Hey, at least I've got a reason for doing it.

Walking around downtown using a file folder to carry your stuff in? Come on.