Many of you know that I'm on the path to becoming perfectly tanned and toned for the Everycity Shake-a-Spear production of Midsummer Night's Dream. Normally I wouldn't be that worried. I'd be coming home from work, plopping down on my "secretary spread", cracking open a beer and washing it down with some malt-o-meal.
Yeah. I would be doing that.
But then you'd be mad at me when you see me on that stage with six saggy abs drooping all over my doughy body. You see, I'm gonna be nude!
No, I'm totally kidding. I'm going to be shirtless the entire time.
Even so, normally I might not be too worried. However, you have to understand something. Everycity is home to the meanest theatre critic in the country. And she'll be there on opening night.
It's a long journey, this journey to abs, but it's a journey I'm willing to take. It's a journey I must take.
Did I mention that this production is a musical version of Midsummer and I have six solo numbers? So in addition to being tanned and toned, I have to sing, dance, and act.
Good LORD! What have I gotten myself into?!
9 comments:
what part are you playing??? that way when i'm done with my Fabio Novel i can read MidSummer and think of you singing that specific part with ripped abs and tanned flesh
How are you tanning? Do NOT use tanning beds. And if you tan outdoors, use sunscreen! (I know it seems like that is defeating the purpose, but you will still get tanned. It will just be in a safer way.)
Of course, the best idea of all is to use the fake stuff. Say no to skin cancer and premature aging!
Tanning beds? No way, José! I'm doing spray-on all the way. In fact...I might even look into it tomorrow afternoon!
You go, Forky! Remember the Baby Ruth is always there for you if need be!
Are you playing "Puck"?
Yep. The role of my life. I'm going for "Peter Pan...at 21".
Thank you for linking to THE review! I've been longing to read that review again and thought I'd never have to opportunity!
That was Hamlet's mistake, he wasn't tan and buff enough... good work forky
Too bad they don't have spray on abs!
Just in case you were looking for some help I'll include these great gadgets. After all men have been after those rock hard abs for ages. I wish you well!
The Ab Lounger
The PowerLine Ab Crunch Machine
The Ab Twister! Fitting for Texas these days.
Popular Mechanics has your back, errr.. abs.
Got your back on this, Fork. I'm playing Don Giovanni in a couple of months opposite a former pro athelete. I also read that review, that chick is a be-yotch. One of my last reviews said I "proved amusing" in my part. That's it. Proved amusing. Those who can do, and those who haven't a frikkin clue critique.
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