A Rant for Fork

This job in South Carolina.

*sigh*

This job in South Carolina.


Let me put it this way, folks. And for those of you who've heard this one before, forgive me.

I once had a bad fortune teller read my palm. "What an interesting lifeline!" he said. "It splits in two rather dramatically! At some point in your near future, you'll have the opportunity to make an enormous change that will take your life in a completely different direction!"

I don't really believe in fortune tellers. I think all they really do is draw our attention to things we otherwise might not have paid any mind to.

And I think what he said wasn't anything extraordinary. Everyone's lives can go in a completely different direction at any time depending on what they do with the impossible choices laid out before them.


I've now done, like, three telephone interviews with this South Carolina job. And every single one I do, the people I speak to say, "You're doing so well in New York. Why in the world would you want to leave all that?"

How do you tell them, "Uhh...I don't. I really don't think I want to do this at all. It sounds like you should get someone with a background in marketing and sales. What do I know about pitching an entire state to film producers? I'm looking at this position because I think my parents are worried I'm going to be a leech on them as I move into my 30s"??

The answer? You DON'T. You don't tell people things like that!

SO you make up something to convince them you're still super-interested in this job. That you're ready to take a break from acting. That you've lived your life in a metaphorical casino and you're thinking it's about time to wrap up the gamble and move onto a "sure thing".

Whatever THAT is. My friends here who graduated from college and, months later, watched the towers collapse from their respective office buildings in midtown tell me that all the time.


Look, the ukulele musical is a hit on all accounts. Sure, our audiences have been small, but the good reviews keep coming in. The Times review has been pretty much negated by the reader reviews posted underneath theirs. The team is convinced that we're taking this show to Off-Broadway. And I don't think that's just the Corky St. Clair talking.

Meanwhile, I'm about to do not one--but TWO shows for this upcoming 15 minute play festival in April--the second one had an actor drop out and the actress said, "I know this GREAT actor!"

And then, last night before the show, Four Stringed Guitar Bill approaches me.

"You're really talented Fork. Would you consider joining the New York Four Stringed Guitar Collective? A good-looking kid like you...we'd stick you right up front."

I mean...GEEZE!

I kinda feel like the only REAL reason I'd move to South Carolina at this point...

The ONLY REAL REASON...

...is so I could be reunited with Nelson the Cat--who has been living under a Texas roof with the generous and lovely Leo Files ever since I moved up here.

That and, well, this job could be really really cool. I'd make lots of money and get to take all my friends to crazy film festivals and travel and schmooze with movie stars...my checking account would keep me warm as the next ice age set in.

But it's in South Carolina.

And because of the intense travel schedule, any and all acting on the stage would come to a screeching halt.

I mean...you have to think about these things!

Okay. I'm not going to think about these things for a little while. Time to get back to Forkulele. Look for an update this afternoon!