Smash

I'm turning items back on in Super Smash Bros.

Hard-core Smash addicts turn items off, saying the true test of Smash supremacy comes from playing without the addition of the random items which add a whole new element to the gameplay. Think of them as the flying spiked koopa shell from Mario Kart. They can spell sudden ruin or victory, all depending on if you managed to get to them first.

Thing is, I can't be hard core anymore.

See, this morning I woke up and took stock.

Most mornings I climb out of bed and head straight for the gym. Lots of time, money, energy, and whey protein powder has been consumed in this gosh-dangit frustrating and seemingly unending quest to find the true path to this "Muscle Beach" that everyone else at my gym seems to have had no trouble finding. I MUST find it. I MUST be able to compete with these meatheads. I'm smart. I should be able to figure out how much effort it takes to build a mere five more pounds of muscle.

But I can't seem to get there. So onward I must go. Eye on the prize. Hard core.

Lately, I also do a lot of "temp work". Talking about other "temps" with my artist employer makes me think, "Holy crap. I'm not doing enough with this. I could totally do this full time if I wanted."

But then I think--I'd really need to find someplace to tan. I costing these artists a fortune in Alabaster White.

And I'd need to find this beach everyone keeps talking about...this beach where everyone has lots of muscles. Just five pounds more.

It's elusive. But it's THERE. I can SEE it. So onward I go. Always searching. Hard core.

I practice the ukulele. I got new headshots. I travel the City auditioning for stuff. I'm in the middle of my second stage combat certification with tap dancing lessons to follow. My cousin wants to hire me for a high profile, once in a lifetime position with the film commission of South Cackalackee. I'm in the middle of a creative writing spurt where the ideas are flowing at a quick and exciting pace--the new play should be finished within the next week or two.

But I'm not GREAT at the ukulele--I still don't know the names of most of the chords. The headshots are fine, but geeze they were expensive. Auditions lately are unnervingly hit-or-miss. I'm not "getting" the moves in this stage combat class quite as quickly as the last one which makes me nervous for the test and I've put off these tap lessons for I can't remember how long. I don't know how I can refuse this job offer, but I don't know how I can accept it either. The writing is going well but what if what I finish and the play is a big, lame, jumbled mess?

It all feels just out of reach. Like I'm ALMOST there...but I'm not there yet. So you tell yourself, "You're being lazy. Clean your room. It's filthy" and push yourself a little bit harder.

Hard core.

So yeah. I'm not going to force myself to be hard core at Smash Bros. anymore.

Items are back on.