A Conversation

The following is the conversation I must assume took place between the writers of this show I'm in. First rehearsal is tomorrow.



Four Stringed Guitar Bill: Hey guys! I just finished an original musical featuring--get this!--my favorite instrument! The miniature four stringed guitar.

Francis: That's great Four Stringed Guitar Bill. Now what?

FSGBill: What else? Let's put on a show!

Francis: But we're musicians. We've never put on a show before. We don't know the first thing about it.

FSGBill: Don't let that worry you. I've done some research!

Francis: (to Brancis) He's done some research.

FSGBill: You see, when people put on plays, they have play practice every day.

Francis: Well of course. How else would they learn all those lines?

FSGBill: I know. There are so many in every play. So many lines to learn.

Francis: I don't know how they do it. I can't remember my grocery list, let alone a whole PLAY.

Brancis: Okay. Then let's cast it and have some play practices.

Francis: Wait--Four Stringed Guitar Bill, what time are we going to have play practice? Should we make a play practice schedule?

FSGBill: I don't think so. That would take a lot of time.

Brancis: It would.

FSGBill: Well, when they do plays in New York City, they practice them--you're not going to believe this--they practice them during the DAY!

Francis: During--

Brancis: --the DAY?

FSGBill: Yes! The day! I did an internet search. Most Broadway shows practice from 10:30-4:30 every single day!

Francis: Incredible.

Brancis: Well, we're not Broadway, Four Stringed Guitar Bill.

FSGBill: That doesn't matter. We want our show to be the most professional show possible, right?

Francis: Right.

FSGBill: So play practice during the day it is!

Brancis: Wow! But what if the actors we cast have day jobs? We don't have much to pay them...

FSGBill: That's okay. If they're really seasoned New York actors they should be used to quitting their day jobs and making time for play practice.

Francis: You have a point there. Wow. Play practice in the middle of the DAY! Incredible! Buuuut...if that's how they do it.

FSGBill: It is. And get this...I just got off the phone with the director of our play. He says he wants to do a play reading. On the FIRST DAY OF REHEARSAL!

Francis: Are you kidding?

FSGBill: I know!

Brancis: But what if one of the actors can't make it? Say, the young man playing one of the leads? Suppose he's...I dunno...LATE. He can't quite make it at 10:30.

FSGBill: Well then, we'll just have to call around and find another actor to come in and read his lines for him.

Francis: Yes! That makes the most sense.

FSGBill: The most sense.

Brancis: Who will assist the director though? Shouldn't someone be there to make up schedules and contact sheets and keep everyone informed? Maybe that person could also read that part in this play reading.

FSGBill: I don't think that's how they do it. Not in New York anyway.


I don't make stuff up, y'all.