Who Has More Fun Than Me?

I think I've managed to remove all links to this blog from my various pages across cyberspace. That's a good thing because sometimes I have things to say that...well...you know.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

In all the hubbub of the past few days I've completely forgotten to mention my two-day stint at the Wustminister Kennel Club Dogg Show! Yes! It was just like the movie! I wasn't witness to this one, but one of the workers said she saw a married couple by the water fountain shouting, "Calm down!" "NO! YOU calm down!" "NO! YOU calm down!"

At one point I was walking to the bathroom and I accidentally brushed up against a woman.

"DON'T PUSH! I'M WALKING TOO!"

"Oh! So VERY sorry ma'am! Well! We're all just having LOTS of fun today, aren't we?"

"WE DO WHEN YOU DON'T PUSH!"

Yes, tensions were high at the dog show. It really was a wretched little temp job. For two days, me and four other people worked NON-STOP...no, really...NON-STOP filling thousands of plastic bags full of doggie treats, doggie din-dins, and doggie yum-yums. 8-5. One 30 minute lunch break. The crowds never ceased. Everybody from the dog owners to the spectators came to get a doggie bag.

We really liked hearing things like, "Could I get more Porterhouse Steak flavored dog food? He's not going to eat these biscuits."

Sure, ma'am. After all, this is a supermarket, not a free sample booth. GROAN!

And how many Jersey women did we have?

"I haaav ah vaarry hungry dooowag. Kood I gaht some foood? I haaav ah vaarry hungry dooowag."

Then perhaps you should go buy your dooowag some food, ma'am. What, does Fido only eat when there's a free sample booth??

It also smelled. A lot.

But still, it was quite an experience. I mean, seriously. Many of the dogs were really beautiful. But most of the owners were really freaky. Dog people. You know.

We had this one woman who kept coming back to our booth.

"Could I get a bag for my dog?"

"Could I get a bag for my friend over there?"

"My aunt is on the other side of the building. Could I get a bag for her?"

"Could I get a bag for my aunt's friend?"

"I have a shelter for dogs. Could I get another bag?"

Honest to Dog, I'm NOT making that up. It really went down just like that.

Next week I'm back at Nofriendoland for two days. They're having a President's Day event tomorrow and Tuesday the new Cronic the Hedgehog game comes out...yes...for Nofriendo!

In the meantime, rehearsals for the show I'm in continue to move along rather smoothly. I'm still a little freaked out that the first performance is March 1st, but hey. That means it'll be over soon. At least I didn't have to commit three months of my life to an over-long rehearsal process. Pop in, hop out, lickety-split.

That's all for updates for the moment. I'm wearing sneakers again so say a little prayer that I don't accidentally step in my FIFTH ankle-deep puddle of slush-sludge. You'd be surprised how easy it is to do that.