Word to Your (Conservative) Mother

Hey gang.

I have great parents. They're decent folks who've worked hard to raise me right, to make good choices, and not whore around.

I think this whole modeling thing has shocked them a little.

So even though I've named my current painful pose "Samuel's Calling" in honor of the Old Testament prophet who inspired it (it's quite good, this one--I could make a killing doing the saints. They say I have very "soulful" eyes that look best when turned Heavenward), I feel that in this instance, instead of fighting my family, I need to honor their request.

That is, any mention of modeling is heretofore referred to simply as "temp work".

Okay, so it's kinda lame. I'm posing in the classical tradition of the Renaissence, not "Loverbois 4". But when you consider we're related to what can be best likened to the Kennedys of the South (the Republican ones, natch), I can certainly see how exposing myself could cause an uncomfortable scandal at this year's Thanksgiving dinner table.

So, as Mary Poppins would say, in every lie that must be told, there's a hint of comic gold.

This is where you come in. I need help cooking up different code words for this modeling thing--words commonly used by office temps. That way, when people ask me what I'm doing, I can tell them without fear of divine retribution (Rev 21:8). In other words, I'm not lying. They're just not up on the latest art model slang.

I need office-friendly alternatives for words such as:

Art studio

Art students

Drawing/painting

Pose

Modeling

Nude

Bathrobe

and Labrador.

I'll check back Monday morning to see what you've come up with! Happy weekend!