What Price Art?

I've made a huge mistake.

I'm currently in my first week under the employ of a fantastic drawing group. The students are all exceptionally talented. They wanted to get some good paintings and portraits out of my month with them. As a result, I am sitting in one pose every morning for four hours for the next two and a half weeks.

And once a pose is set, there can be no changing, no tweaking, no bellyaching, and absolutely no utterance of, "Umm...this feels a little bit like Chinese water torture."

That tiny tilt of the head...

That slight twist of the spine...

That bend in the knee...

(Sorry...some man just came into our subway car saying, "I'm a Philly chicken head. Like em spicy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all for you." (plays harmonica, then returns to chorus). Felt like I should share that with you.)

As I was saying, all those little things you do, they're all "marked". You hold the pose for 20 minutes, then break for 5.

My body can now tell me when 18 minutes have passed. Because my muscles begin quivering and I bite my tongue to try and take the focus off the PAIN.

Here's a fun thing to try. Where you're sitting, right now, sit up so your back is off the chair. Now twist your torso so your chest is facing to the right. Now turn your head so you're looking off to the left. Prop yourself up slightly with your hands on the seat behind you and make your shoulders uneven.

There--perfect. A lovely, dramatic pose with a nice torque and twist (artists LOVE that).

Now hold still. I'm going to paint you.

Mmm hmm dee hmm...

Excuse me, but you shifted your right shoulder. Could you put it back the way it was?

Yes, just like that.

Daa dee mmm bum dum...

No, your head moved. Bring it back to the left. The lighting hits your face differently when it's over there.

Paint, paint, la la la...

I'm sorry, but you keep fidgeting. You need to hold as still as possible for the next 18 minutes. Ah, I know. I'll put this soothing CD of classical music on. That will help you stay focused.

Draw, sketch, draw...

Is something the matter? Your eyes seem to have trouble staying open. And speaking of your eyes, could you now look to the extreme right? No, don't move your head, just the eyes. Thanks.

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Well? How's the pose holding up? Has it been ten minutes yet?

The point of all this falderal is to help you see that, while your career as an artist's model may bring shame to your family and loved ones, it also requires an enormous amount of focus, concentration, and, most of all, endurance.

The latter of which I'm already running dangerously low on. For real.

In my desire to give the art students something really nice to draw, I added a few liiiiiiitle twists and tilts when we set the pose.

Remember how I mentioned Chinese water torture earlier?

Yeah. It's kinda like that.

I'm paying for my artistic generosity. And there's no turning back.