The Easter Story (continued)

(The next day. Corporate America sits in his usual place, although this time he sips on a mint julep from a sterling silver tumbler. Yes Man sits at his left. The various Lackeys around the table eagerly await Corporate America's word.)

(silence)

Corporate America: (to the Lackeys) Y'all don't say much, do you?

(Idea Man enters, pushing a tall figure covered with a white drape)

Corporate America: 'Bout time! We've been waiting here for two days!

Idea Man: Yes, C.A. Terribly sorry. The boys and I have been working as quickly as we could...but you see...when you said you wanted pagan, well--(begins to lift white drape, a lion roars from underneath and Idea Man drops it quickly), pagan is a little more...er...difficult to manage than the Easter Jesus prototype you saw yesterday.

Corporate America: Ha! That old thing? Personally, I'm glad we gave that thing the axe!

Yes Man: Oh yes. Glad! Glad, glad, glad!

Idea Man: (sotto) You didn't even give me the chance to demonstrate to you that if you appease Easter Jesus by buying up as many Corporate Yummy Easter Pork Eggs as you can find, he might bring your favorite relative back from the dead so he or she can join you for Easter lunch on Sunday.

Corporate America: What's that?

Idea Man: I didn't say anything.

Corporate America: So what's this thing under the sheet? Or is this it? The Easter ghost?

Idea Man: No, we're saving the Easter ghost model for Halloween, in case Pumpkin Patch Man needs a Rudolph to spice him up a bit.

Corporate America: Good thinking.

Idea Man: No, this time we went further back. All the way to the source of Easter itself. So, without further ado, I give you...(drumroll, Idea Man pulls drape off figure to reveal) the Easter Nimrod!

(a pause)

Corporate America: Nimrod? What is this, a joke? Why don't you make an Easter Doofus next? Or an Easter Moron. Or an Easter--

Idea Man: C.A., Nimrod is his name.

Corporate America: Yeah? Some name! How about Easter Idiot? Haw! Haw!

(the Easter Nimrod slowly approaches Corporate America)

Yes Man: Oh, that was a good one, sir.

Corporate America: Or how about Easter Stupid Idiot!

Yes Man: Oh, sir! You're too much!

Corporate America: Or how about--

Idea Man: Umm, C.A., please don't incur the wrath of the Easter Nimrod. He's--

(Easter Nimrod takes Corporate America by the throat and lifts him from his chair)

Easter Nimrod: I am a mighty hunter before the face of the God of the Hebrew scum! I bring chocolate eggs to all the good girls and boys. And to the bad ones, my enemies, I cut their bodies into pieces as they sleep, and scatter what's left of them across the kingdom, where my wife, Ishtar, whore of Babylon and mother of lies, waits to reassemble them in a phallic orgy of pagan devil worship!

(Easter Nimrod throws Corporate America aside like a rag doll and pulls out his sword. He brings it down on the conference room table and hacks it to pieces. Mint julep and splinters fly everywhere. Easter Nimrod lets out another lion-like roar and crashes through the window, lowering himself with monkey-like agility down to the unsuspecting streets below. The sprinkler system turns on. The Lackeys whisper various ad-libs such as, "Dear God!" and "He's loose! He's loose!" and "Maybe no one will notice the ancient warrior king of Babylon roaming the streets." Yes Man goes to Corporate America who is sprawled out like an upside-down tortoise.

Idea Man: (sighs) Well, back to the drawing board.

To be concluded...