Until now.
SO, without further ado...
I saw my first New York rat in the subway on Sunday morning as I was trying to find the church I was to visit. I couldn't quite believe my eyes. I mean, there, in the subway, by this door, a big rat with a pink tail just...waddled up and disappeared into a hole it had obviously nibbled for itself.
After a moment, I realized I was on the wrong platform (do they call the subway waiting area platforms?) so I followed the signs downstairs to the correct one. And what should I see there?
Another RAT!
In retrospect, I suppose it could have been the same one. He could have taken some little rodent-sized passage or something. But still! And it scurried right up to this guy who was also waiting for the train and came so close he had to stomp to try and scare it away. It didn't work. The rat just kept going.
It reminded me of a story that Candie, our receptionist, once told me about a friend of hers who was living in a kind of ratty (pardon the pun) apartment in Everycity. She came home early one hot summer day and took a nap. She woke up to hear a scritch-scritch-scratch in her room. Sitting up in bed, she saw a little critter sitting on the floor.
"Awww!" she thought in her naptime stupor. "A puppy!" She reached out her hand to pet the creature.
"Wait a minute," she thought suddenly. "I don't have a puppy."
That's when she realized that her little visitor was a rat.
But those subway rats wouldn't have stood a chance if someone had gotten them tickets to the one and only Moscow Cats Theatre (google it!). It was vaudeville...with cats! They danced, they rode in little cars, they pushed cute carts that had a dancing dog in them...
At one point they brought out this really tall pole with a little platform on the top. REALLY tall. One of the cats climbed all the way to the top and perched on the platform. Then, the main clown brought out this tiny pillow.
Yes, the cat jumped. We couldn't believe it. It was amazing! Even more amazing than the amazing acrobats of China! Kitty High-Dive right there!
Then they put one inside this big hula hoop and swung the hoop around. The cat sat comfortably inside the hoop as they spun him faster and faster...even upside-down!
I suppose I don't need to say that the highlight was the hand-standing cat. After the encore at the end of the show, I wondered what will become of the Cat Circus when that cat goes to Kitty Heaven. I mean, a hand-standing cat? Not exactly a dime a dozen. If I had a hand-standing cat, you can bet I wouldn't be sitting here writing about it. I'd be out on the streets making six-figures as a street performer.
Oh, and just for the record, Nelson can't do a hand-stand.
10 comments:
No, Nelson can't do a handstand. But he does occasionally read aloud from "The Complete Works of Lewis Carroll," or at least he did when he stayed with me. Maybe he doesn't feel that you would find his vocal interpretation of the White Queen acceptable. He does do a great Carol Channing, though!
It all sounds a little creepy to me - especially if it was anything like that picture. And for the love of Jehovah - who IS that gross looking clown?!
It is creepy and horrible! Budd-damn, it's awful! It's on the same level as having an earwax museum or hemmorhoids on parade only it has the added distinction of cruelty!
And as for Nelson, we all know that the only thing that lump is capable of is sucking oxygen and training for world records in the 'intertia' category.
rduwunub
Two pieces of trivia:
1.) There are twice as many rats in NYC as people.
2.) Candie and I live in a parallel universe. I was once awakened by what I thought was a puppy that I didn't have. It turned out to be a mouse sniffing IN MY EAR! GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSS! I have never moved so fast out of a dead sleep. I'm still trying to block that horror! Eewww.
AHHH! I will never sleep again after reading that mouse story! It gave me a huge shiver down my spine just thinking about it.
But I think the cat thing sounds awesome. Get those stupid cats off their high horses and put them to WORK!
Where do you people live?!! I can't even imagine such things! The only thing worse would be to awaken to a big snake nibbling on your ear!
Or a cat circus.
Queen III, snakes don't nibble, they slither.
And what's wrong with a cat circus, the Cachinnator? You can bet that clown in the picture doesn't have to worry about waking up with rats nesting in HIS hair. Meanwhile, disease-riddled stinkie spaniels would probably just watch as rodents ate your face off as you slept!!
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Where did you find it? Interesting read »
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