"You know, once upon a time, there was a naked guy who modeled for Michelangelo. I'd love for your Mom to tell him he didn't have a job. -the Cachinnator
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Man's Inhumanity to Man
[Forky's note 11/17/05: Today's post was going to be a photo-essay about man's inhumanity to man. However, the pictures filled me with such sorrow that I swapped them out for shots of baby animals instead. Enjoy!]
Dog in the hot-dog bun: "This is not funny, you stupid mother-effers! I am not a HOT DOG! I swear when I get down from here I'm going to crap in every single pair of shoes you own!"
While puppies are undeniably capable of melting the stoniest of stone-cold hearts, I'm going to go a little exotic here and vote for baby penguins, which, as I recently realized while watching some movie nobody ever heard of, are the cutest baby animals in the whole, wide world. Let's face it, they're even cuter than baby people.
I vote for the Baby Racoon...because he will grow up to me mischevious. And here is his caption...
"Damn it, i'm about to fall...I...Can't...Hang...on...Wait, i'm to young to say "Damn It"...This is awkward....will you stop taking a damn picture and give me a hand here...wait I said damn again...oh hell!"
kitten at the top has that Woody Allen look, saying, "I was once attracted to the notion of eternal regression until I realized it would mean I'd have to see the Ice Capades again"
Yes, back when I was the bakerboy I frequently visited Lorrena... or Gloria as she was called professionally. (The whole hacking off her husband's little friend wouldn't have been good for business if everyone knew who she was.) But now that I'm the bakerman, I cut my own hair! (Although I've recently decided to stop cutting it. It's long hair time! Hamartia hooray!)
Speaking of which, visit my blog today to vote for your favorite Christmas cookie. Complete with recipes, and guaranteed to make you sentimental... and hungry.
I have decided this blog is full of funny yet insane people. I am a friend of baker's and I guess it takes one to know one. Thanks for the humor, life needs more of it. But until then more small animals. And, err.. make baker cut his hair.
on a side note: why is my verification word "hivgiv" ???
22 comments:
New rules! Come up with a cuddly caption for your favorite pwecious picture!!
Golden pup: "I'm a super helper!"
I'm going out to buy a dog RIGHT NOW!! Don't tell my mom...or boyfriend.
Dog in the hot-dog bun:
"This is not funny, you stupid mother-effers! I am not a HOT DOG! I swear when I get down from here I'm going to crap in every single pair of shoes you own!"
While puppies are undeniably capable of melting the stoniest of stone-cold hearts, I'm going to go a little exotic here and vote for baby penguins, which, as I recently realized while watching some movie nobody ever heard of, are the cutest baby animals in the whole, wide world. Let's face it, they're even cuter than baby people.
Penguin chicks!
Penguin chicks!
Penguin chicks!
Penguin chicks!
Penguin chicks!
There, that brings the current total to six for baby penguins
I have to vote for the bear. I wish he didn't have claws, or I'd let him be my sleeping buddy...
Where's the Cocker Spaniel?????
I vote for the Baby Racoon...because he will grow up to me mischevious. And here is his caption...
"Damn it, i'm about to fall...I...Can't...Hang...on...Wait, i'm to young to say "Damn It"...This is awkward....will you stop taking a damn picture and give me a hand here...wait I said damn again...oh hell!"
kitten at the top has that Woody Allen look, saying, "I was once attracted to the notion of eternal regression until I realized it would mean I'd have to see the Ice Capades again"
I'm saving the cocker spaniel for my photo essay on man's inhumanity to man.
Man... Is anyone else, hungry?
Bastard people!
Baby Lion: "Go ahead, call me Simba one more time. See if I can't go Bobbitt on you with these fangs."
Bakerman...Don't be offended...Your dogs are...Cute...Yeah, that's it....Cute...hehe
Check out my blog for the first case of Avian Flu in America!!! It is scary.
Bobbitt...Bobbitt...wasn't that the name of your hairdresser in DC, Bakerboy?
Yes, back when I was the bakerboy I frequently visited Lorrena... or Gloria as she was called professionally. (The whole hacking off her husband's little friend wouldn't have been good for business if everyone knew who she was.) But now that I'm the bakerman, I cut my own hair! (Although I've recently decided to stop cutting it. It's long hair time! Hamartia hooray!)
What happened to the voting?
Speaking of which, visit my blog today to vote for your favorite Christmas cookie. Complete with recipes, and guaranteed to make you sentimental... and hungry.
PS, Scott, I like your hamartia reference! Funny.
Guys! Come and vote on my Bolg as well. Vote for the cutest Scariest animal alive!
I have decided this blog is full of funny yet insane people. I am a friend of baker's and I guess it takes one to know one. Thanks for the humor, life needs more of it. But until then more small animals. And, err.. make baker cut his hair.
on a side note: why is my verification word "hivgiv" ???
It OBVIOUSLY means you're the giver of a fatal STD, Rex. Time to get tested. At least you don't have the bite of the poisonous tsetse fly.
Oh--and you can't be a very good friend of Mr. Van Baker's if you're asking us to encourage him to cut his hair. The Mungo look is SOOO outré. Bob that hair, Van Baker! Bob that hair!
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