Thursday, May 03, 2007

:^|

For the sake of the folks who prefer my shorter posts (and really, who doesn't?!) here's a short one.

I think my brains are turning into mush.

I have to get up at 6am so I can do crunches, go to the gym, then hop on the subway and head to "temp work". However, after I've hit the sack at around 10 or so, my roommate comes home at 11, takes a shower at 12, and goes to sleep around 1.

Noisily.

He usually makes phone calls during all this.

I sleep with a pillow over my head.

As a result of getting 5 hours of sleep, once I get home from "temp work" (which typically involves me almost falling asleep in mid-pose) I spend my days lazing about. What else can I do? I'd like to say I do something productive with this time like work on a snazzy new poem or a play that will bring me moneyhappiness, but I don't. I usually just sort of...sleep. Maybe play a few video games. Then, if I'm really feeling charged up, I'll frump myself down in front of my computer and do an online Bible study.

And all because my roommate couldn't just be the freak quiet when he freakin' comes in at midnight. Yes! HE'S to blame!

Honestly, am I asking for too much here? I sort of think a roommate who understands that teflon pans do NOT need to be soaked overnight and who doesn't sing opera in the shower at 12:30am wouldn't be hard to find.

Who'm I kidding? Roommate could be worse. Much worse. I should thank my lucky stars.

So I sleep during the day.

Oh, and eat. I've taken to binge eating. Isn't that the saddest thing? It's a good thing the only thing I have food-wise in this apartment are a variety of fruits, whole grains, and non-fat cottage cheeses. I suppose I could do some real damage with the numerous jars of peanut butter I have hidden around the apartment like so many peanut butter jar-shaped Easter eggs, but that's why I hid them in the first place.

Once you get a mouthful of nonfat yogurt topped with all-natural granola...you just can't stop! Everything must be eaten!

All-natural dried apricots!

SNARF!

A cup of all-natural applesauce!

SCHLORP!

An all-natural peaunt butter and banana sandwich!

SMONCH!

A handful of all-natural strawberries!

SNACK!



I need a steak in the worst way.

4 comments:

Queen, III said...

you're a hippy.

Anonymous said...

I don't think you can technically "binge" on fruit and nuts.

You are getting fat, pudge boy.

Start singing and reciting lines out loud when you get up in the morning at 6:00am. That should fix the roommate problem.

Bibb Leo File said...

Cry me a river. At least you don't have a flippin' cat meowing up a storm every afternoon for two hours while you're trying to grade papers.

Wait...would you like a cat? He's really quiet and unobtrusive.

Fork said...

I told you to use the crappin' spray bottle! Don't treat that beast with kid gloves! You've grown soft, I tell you! Soft!