For those of you who don't know, yesterday's minor surgery didn't go quite as expected. The doctor opened my head up, looked inside, and found nothing. Big surprise there!
Wait...that came out all wrong.
What I mean to say is that little/large bump on the back of my head is a calcified cyst. It's pretty much bone. The doctor stitched me back up and said they were going to have to send me right over to the general surgeon--there was nothing she'd be able to do. My appointment is for tomorrow at 3:30. You know what that means!
Half-day tomorrow! Wahoo!
I was just about to Mapquest the address when I took a look at the diagnosis. "Neoplasm on scalp." I had already googled every possible combination of "calcified cyst" (cyst, calcification, removal from back of head/calcified cyst, head/sebaceous cyst, calcified, removal/cyst, life threatening, terminal, extremely painful, scary) so I thought, hey! I'll plug in "Neoplasm" and see what happens!
Now I wish I hadn't.
Surely there's nothing to worry about...is there?
Neoplasm
7 comments:
Was there a triplet in the womb that you ate or something?
Relaaaaaax, Forky. I'm sure everything's fine. Your body probably became confused when you started working out and bulked up in the wrong place for a while. It's just a little... extra something. That's all. Praying for you all the same.
oh, no! Forky! I thought it was just a fun, run-of-the-mill deformity!
Let's just hope it's the benign kind!
Keep us up to date.
Now, I think you're overreacting. As you know, "neo" means "new." And "plasm" is, of course, from the word "plasma." So I'm pretty sure what this all means is that you're getting a new TV! Congratulations!
I'm getting a new TV removed from my head?? I'm so confused! First I find out that babies come from cabbage patches, now plasma TVs come from the heads of neurotic artist-types!
Wait a minute...if I play my cards right...I could make a pretty penny here. I wonder...
Forky has ectoplasma in his head?? And it Calcified??? Somebody take a sample and send it to Dr. Egon Spengler
You're sure the diagnosis didn't say "neomagma"? I think that's a more common condition where a caldera of molten bone erupts from the crown of one's head with a cartoonish mushroom cloud usually accompanying the eruption. It happened on Grey's Anatomy.
Ouch. Please don't die.
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