Happy Easter!

An Easter Post--wait--Post

How Easter happens

Happy Easter to all my peeps. MARSHMALLOW peeps, that is.

Sorry I've been a little out of the loop lately. It's not because I don't have lots of things to talk about. It's just hard to keep up with all this Easter stuff going on. Mostly church. Church, church, church.

It's kind of like how you might have a Christmas where you wind up being in a community theatre production of 'A Christmas Carol' the same year they're doing a big television 'Christmas Carol' special. You read the book and then your mom wants to watch 'A Muppet Christmas Carol' because she cries when Robin dies. It's a 'Christmas Carol' Christmas.

It's also like how you might have a 'Rainy' President's Day or a 'Dinosaur' Independence Day or a 'Peaceful' Ramadan.

This Easter has been a 'Psalm 22' Easter.

That sounds strange, doesn't it?

What I mean to say is at the various Bible studies and at every other Church service, someone's reading Psalm 22. Maybe I wasn't paying attention in previous years, but it seems like we've been walloped with the Psalm of the Derelict this year. At least we have in New York. I don't know about where you guys are. It certainly wasn't in the forecast, although, all things considered, I guess it shouldn't be unexpected.

Seeing as how I'm attending an Anglo-Catholic church these days, I figured I'd go ahead and go all-out. That means I genuflect, make the sign of the cross a lot, think Mary is really, really great, and I fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.

Wait. Fast?

Wait. Fast?

You mean, like, not eating?

I thought that was funny. Like, isn't there something in 2 Cacchinations about how you're not supposed to do that in these modern times because it was considered too sacrificial and inconvinient for modern Christians?

But when the Easter Rabbit says, "Hop!" I ask, "How high?"

Some notes on the Easter services...

Wednesday - Tenebrae Service - As the service goes on, the lights go out. This is a problem for a church so steeped in liturgy. When the lights are out--I mean completely out--you can't read the bulletin. I'd been eating a lot of baby carrots in preparation for the upcoming Good Friday fast so I could see okay, but the elderly couple in front of us gave up within the first fifteen minutes of the service. I mean, geeze.

Thursday - Maunday Thursday - This one made me cry. That's all I'm going to say about it.

Friday - Good Friday - The big one. I started the day by making myself a big bowl of nothing, then did my Bible study and watched the bonus features DVD in the 'Definitive Edition Passion of the Christ'. From 12 to 3 was the three hour devotion in which our token British priest gave seven sermons that would have made Jonathan Edwards feel positively ducky. Pause for a quick lunch of nothing, a nap, then it's back to church again at 5:30 for the evening liturgy. The choir boys run away at the end to symbolize the scattering of the disciples. I was almost moved, but all the boys had big smiles on their faces so it kind of took me out of the moment. Also, there were way more than twelve of them and they were wearing lacy gowns. Not very convincing, if you ax me. So yeah. Next year, let's get some old men. And some freakin' peanut butter. For real.

Saturday - The Easter Vigil/First Eucharist of Easter - The other big one. Also started at 5:30. You're supposed to have the halfway point at midnight so you can take the Eucharist on the actual Easter morning. Our church wimped out. They didn't ring the bells as we were leaving. We suspected that's because they didn't want St. Pat's to know we did ours early. Also, the alter boys need painters stilts. Poor kids had the world's most difficult time lighting those candles. It was totally stressful watching them struggle. Oooh. I can't even think about it without getting a little queasy. I mean, just think of their poor parents! I can only imagine. Most parents scream, "Steal home!" or "You've got the ball! Run!" I guess these parents would have to whisper, "Stand on your tip-toes!"

But all that's over now. Tomorrow morning I'll wake up to an Easter basket full of chocolate eggs and plastic grass and other Easter surprises. I'm really looking forward to that.

So a happy Easter to all and to all a good night! I'm going to bed. 8am service. You know. Avoid the crowds.