Yes, while manners are all the rage down south in and around Everycity, Wackytown, and Mexibury, up here, Yankees have no problem speaking their minds loudly and profanely.
To all those blue-streak spewing vendors and cabbies, I'm here today to teach you some good manners.
The 42nd Floor Presents
"Forky is Mr. Manners!"
First Edition: The Polite Disclaimer
"Forky is Mr. Manners!"
First Edition: The Polite Disclaimer
You know those people who are real jerks but pretend not to be? You know the ones. They often preface extremely rude comments with this simple phrase:
"I don't mean to be rude, but..."
Well, it may come as a surprise, but this statement really does work! The next time you have something bitingly honest to tell some poor slob, just tack this onto your comment/suggestion. You can get away with anything!
Let's use this phrase. It's fun and easy!
"I don't mean to be rude, but you are way too fat to be eating that."
"I don't mean to be rude, but I haven't been listening to you for the past five minutes because I'm so sick of your droning."
"I don't mean to be rude, but when was the last time you shut up long enough to breathe?"
"I don't mean to be rude, but you really suck at basketball. Hard core."
Now you try! And remember, be polite!
3 comments:
Unfortunately, the phrase rather backfires when you are trying to point out someone else's rudeness:
"I don't mean to be rude, but you're being very rude."
A little repetitive, n'est-ce pas?
In those rare cases, switching to the equally useful and equivocal "With all due respect..." seems to work just as well.
But hey, as long as you tell them you're not being rude, it's okay, right? I'm just trying to share some good advice.
I don't mean to be rude, but when you told me that you didn't mean to be rude but my butt was big?...that was rude.
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