Nhikchoalle Continued

I've seen Nickhoalle a couple more times since I last posted.

"I am SO ugly. My legs are SO FAT. I can't believe how fat I am. My friend had lipo, you know. You're the devil. I hate you. I blogged about you, but don't worry, I didn't use your name. I called you Satan. I can't believe how fat I am. My best friend had lipo and she HATES working out and she's SO BEAUTIFUL now. I can't believe you do this for a living, that you put your body through all this to be able to tell other people to do it. You must hate your life. You must hate what you do."

I really REALLY don't like Nikchoalle.

Every time we meet it's like an hour of sunshine.

I'm starting to question whether the iPhone is worth all this abuse.


* * * *


In other news, I think I'm dying. I twittered about this, but nobody seemed to care since Michael Jackson also died today. Which makes sense because I always worry about the health of cracked-out celebrities over the health dear, dear friends.

I think I have lyme disease, the Silent Killer. The Weekly World News did an exposé on it years ago and I've never forgotten it. I was bitten by a tick while on an outing in the Jersey woods a few weeks ago and suddenly I've developed flu-like symptoms. Chills and hot flashes, aches, fatigue, occasional headaches...

Or it could be swine flu. I DID go on a crowded airplane recently...

Whatever it is, I think it's slowly killing me. And crap. Me without my medical insurance. Oh well, Obama is going to pull an Evita and change all that anyway. Free, free, free. So I guess I should be happy that everybody else gets screwed while I get free healthcare and every hospital in America becomes like a Primacare.

Oh LORD. The thought of THAT sends a chill down my spine.

Or maybe it's the lyme disease.


* * * *


Since I don't know which family members read blog, I can't post about the whole "Daddy's Dyin', Who's Got the Will?" shenannigans going on down ol' Carolina Way.

It probably isn't a good idea to talk about the Luv Gov's recent scandal either. But that's okay because my Mom doesn't actually work for HIM so it's not like this is really messing with her job anyway.

I CAN, however, tell you about what my roommate Nutty McDonald is up to these days.


Oh, maybe I shouldn't. It isn't very nice to air another man's dirty laundry on the internetz for all to see.



Oh. What the hell.



Yep, he's still sleeping till 4pm every day. He says he doesn't need a job because he's busy studying for the MCAT. He wants to go to med school, you see. Which makes sense because he's never had a REAL job and has no savings. He's utterly penniless. He eats Milk of Magnesia because he can't afford anything else.

Anyway, Psycho Yoko is all nervous about the upcoming piano recital. She proposes consuming two pots of coffee so she can stay up all night practicing.

Ever the helpful gentleman, Nutty tells her, "No, dear. Don't drink coffee. Take some adderall."

What happens next is the stuff that after-school specials are made of.

Not satisfied with Nutty's laughably small recommended dosage of a fourth of one of the teeny-tiny pills (she's REALLY nervous, y'all), Yoko takes a half. Feeling no affect after five minutes, she takes the other half. Still nothing. So she takes the other pill (yes, instead of giving her just that fourth of the pill, Nutty gave her two whole pills).

I could tell you what happened next, but I think this video does an adequate job. Let's just say we knew there was trouble when Nutty got a phone call from Yoko screaming, "MY SKIN IS ON FIRE!"





Then again, Nutty REALLY didn't want to stay for Bible study last night so there's a chance he was lying about the whole thing. He lies. A LOT.

I'm free from personal training tomorrow and have taken two sleeping pills to see if I can sleep through the night without being woken up by a case of the shakes.

R.I.P. Michael. You're the lucky one. You got out before things got--

Whoa! My tooth is really aching!

Getting old SUCKS!!