The Unpleasant Ultimatum

It's over after today.

The last performance of RotL.

"Unpleasant" is the word I choose to describe the overall experience. Now, don't get me wrong, there was tons of fun to be had throughout the process and the whole thing contributed once again to making me a better, cleaner, more specific actor.

But the CAST....

Unpleasant.

In the nightmare scene... they've lifted me up and are carrying me around the stage to torment me for being a hard-to-handle diva. Dolores, playing the director, takes the spot closest to my head and WHISPERS into my ear, "This'll f*(king teach you to f#%&*() with my show, you G*(Dam$% C%NT!"

Unpleasant.

Valerie, who plays the swaggering love interest, has worked with the Teddibly Impressive Shakespeare Company for years and years so she has an air of superiority about her otherwise VERY friendly demeanor. So when she's running the somewhat unnecessary fight call at the beginning and you want to ask, "Can we not do this full-out? I'd like to save my voice," her eyes get really wide, she smiles really big and says, with lots of breath, "I think this would be a good opportunity for you to practice using your voice!"

I get the VERY distinct feeling that, as the show has gone on, she duddn' like me very much anymore. A shame. And also...

Unpleasant.

Sue is the woman who peed her pants on opening night. Nobody knows why. She just did. She is also so HOSTILE toward ANYONE who isn't Obama-mad that it's scary. Honestly, it REALLY DOES make me feel like I'm living in one of those movies set in pre-WWII Germany. You know. Where you've got this one main plot going on, meanwhile in the background you've got the subplot of Hitler rising to power which will eventually force its way into the foreground and act as the Iceberg-Titanic catalyst to rend the main plot into tragic tatters?

I would be the character from the main plot--the young actor new to the City, full of dreams, ready to work, ready to beat Mega Man 9. And about two thirds of the way through the movie, you have the crazed German who speaks passionately about this young savior who will lead the country to a time of great prosperity. The suspicious young artist (who is also very talented and handsome with a great six pack) is seemingly the only one who doesn't buy into the hype and is the only one who sees dark thunderheads rumbling on the horizon.

Unpleasant.

The costumes are frilly and lacy and snag on everything. By the end of every show I need to call on my mice to repair my gown.

Unpleasant.

The women burp a LOT backstage.

Unpleasant.

The women curse and swear and damn Palin to hell for having the nerve to look as good as she does.

Unpleasant.

The play begins as a fluffy comedy but takes a turn for the dark 2/3rds through--and it never returns to funnytown. Which makes trudging through the final chunk a completely UNPLEASANT experience.

But it's over today. So...maybe I ought to just shut up and focus on the silver lining--which is at LEAST we won't be doing this show when Palin does her debate. Because the last place on earth I would like to be is in a dressing room with them.