Nevermind

I was going to do some kind of mondo post.

I was going to talk about how two years ago I quit my dead-end job at Eventual Practical Financial Services and about how my mother and I packed up and threw away just about every last thing I owned. How I slept on an air mattress and woke early every morning with nothing really to do except wake up super-early every morning and go on shirtless jogs around the apartment commune to show off my hot new 'Midsummer' abs and dreadful spray-on tan. I started listening to this one album by a Japanese singer. I didn't understand the words, but the tunes were catchy. That was great because I was so nervous about moving to New York that words would've probably just freaked me out.

I was also going to talk about booking that plane ticket, thinking how clever I was getting a September 11th ticket, then feeling a real sense of dread as our plane closed in on Manhattan...five years to the day since the attacks. Suddenly I wasn't feeling so clever anymore. I said a prayer asking God to please not let our plane crash--at least let New York City...a mugger, a runaway bus, a bad hot dog...let the City kill me. Not some crazed terrorist's idea of a fun anniversary party.

I was also going to talk about that same feeling I had waking up every morning not knowing what to do with myself. The apartment was empty so the first thing I did was make numerous trips to Bed, Bath, and Bathyond to furnish the place. I got a gym membership on the 12th.

And I got my first modeling gig the very next week. It took a little longer to figure out the acting bit but eventually I discovered acting in New York is exactly the same as it is everywhere else in this crazy country. It just looks scarier, there aren't usually any dressing rooms, and there are a whole lot more bad actors at the auditions.

Oh, at I was also going to talk about the first time I got sick. Really, really sick. My throat was on fire. I couldn't breathe without coughing and getting that terrifying little taste of blood in the back of my mouth. The world was spinning. I was burning up. And I had three auditions that day. And it was snowing. At one point, I was far away from home...way over on the Lower East Side (I had NO idea where I was! Isn't that cute!) and I thought, "I can't take another step. I don't have money for a cab. I think I might actually die. I might actually collapse in a snowbank."

But I didn't die. In fact, I got cast in my third New York show that day.

And now...here we are, two years later. Two Christmases at Nofriendo World, one Thanksgiving and Christmas here by myself, nine Off-Off Broadway shows (after tonight), a whole bunch of great new friends...

Yeah. I was going to blog about all that stuff. But we're opening our show tonight and I'm way too tired to go into all that stuff.

I hope you understand.

:^)