A very upset French woman asked me, of the Gii Sports compilation game, "Why doesn't this have basketball on it?"
She then started ranting about the fact that it was so difficult to find a Numbtindough Gii. She kept looking at me like it was my fault.
"Maybe I vill punish Numtindough by buying somesing else, like zee Spraystantion 3!"
Okay, lady. You do that. You teach that Numbtindough a lesson.
Yesterday someone called me Mr. Numbtindough. Today someone called me Mr. Numbtindough Guy. To get my attention, customers whack me on the shoulder and shout, "ExCUSE me!" usually three at a time.
The soccer moms are still the worst. When you ask who's next in line, they give you this...this LOOK and say, of their child, "THIS little boy has been waiting PATIENTLY for a VERY LONG TIME." That's when you secretly give their child the hardest difficulty setting and watch them flounder around while their dumb mom praises their failures.
Some soccer mom said her child was next. Her child was not waiting in line. I directed her to the line. She flipped.
"The security guard told me this was the line for Selda!! My child does not WANT to play Selda!! Now you tell me I'm supposed to get in line!! I want you to walk right up to that security guard and tell him he was WRONG because I have three babies with me and they ALL want to play BloodLust 2!"
"I'm sorry, ma'am. The security guard is on his break."
"Then I'm going to wait here till he comes back and I'm going to come get you so I can see you tell him myself!"
I'm serious.
It's like they want someone to blame for their inability to find this product. You know what? Maybe in five years when the next big system comes out, how about we do what we should have done THIS time...and PREORDER the dang thing?
"How do I get a Gii for my son?"
"You have to get in line before the store opens, sir."
"Oh--THAT'S not gonna HAPPEN! The little twerp can wait till next August!"
I walk through Crockafella Center and hear all the stupid Christmas music about how Christmas is magic and it makes people nice and children happy.
Yeah, like the dad who told his son, "JESUS CHRIST, you little--you'd better get away from me right now before I--"
Or the children who scream and whack their parents with Gii remotes when they try to help their little darlings with the games.
Or the seven year old girl who still rides in a stroller.
Or the mobs of school children who sweep through the store on field trips to Crockafella center and their chaperones who stand idly by as they terrorize everybody.
Or the smarty-pants parents who have "figured out" Numbtindough's market strategy and tell everyone around them while shooting dirty looks at me and the other employees as if we have something to do with it.
Screaming. Yelling. Horrible parents. Bratty kids. Greed. Blame throwing.
I've got news for you, folks: Christmas is not magic. Christmas is dumb.
7 comments:
Can you believe it, I saw on the news where a man whose house was burning down in the California fires rescued one thing from his house - - his new Gii!!!! At least he has his priorities straight!!!
You shall be visited by three spirits; expect the first tomorrow, when the bell tolls one...
Just kidding; I completely understand what you're saying.
My lovely wife and I were at the movies this past Friday seeing the new Blames Mond film, and a truly horrible mother was allowing her two-year-old son to run up and down the ramp and up and down the aisles. He was screaming to be taken to the bathroom ("Go-go pee-pee!") but Mom wanted to know whether or not Blames would win his poker game, so little Pee-wee had to wait.
Someone else in the audience finally shouted, "Take your child to the restroom!" She didn't move until the scene was over.
I also saw two "soccer moms" fighting over the last box of green, faceted LED twinkle lights at Target last night.
Bah! Humbug!
Boy oh boy...I don't want to be THAT kind of soccer mom!
HELP ME PLEASE!
I think i might get myself a Gii, what do you think forky...is it worth it??
Forky,
your job sounds like my job.
America gets Christmas as wrong as most of it does Jesus. Ick.
Well, I made it to your humble city over Thanksgiving, I tried to get Woodall to give me your contact info...but didn't hear back from him. He must be in wedded blissphoria.
I suppose alls well that ends well...I spent most of the time sick in bed at the hotel room while my family hung out with my boyfriend touring your humble city.
If I ever make it back....I'll let you know. Hope you are survivin'. Don't let the soccer moms get you down.
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