Shoot Me Now

I'm doing my best to not chuck this slippery little weasel out the window, but man. AT&T needs to get their act together before I punt this 3GS into the Hudson. 5 bars, 3G, and no Internet, email, and every single call in the last three days has dropped.

No ma'am. It may have pumped my hip full of lethal doses of radiation, but at least my Blackberry WORKED.

Update for today...had to cancel a session with the Narcissus painting to go to a commercial shoot. It's an industrial so it will likely only air within the company...like on their jumbo-tron TVs at their secret headquarters in the North Pole.

But getting paid $625 to sit in a luxury camper drinking coffee and nibbling on French fries ain't half bad.





Wait. That's not true. It is half bad. Call time was 12:30 and they didn't use us till 5:15. Hurry up and wait.

We were playing office people--a commercial advertising some new network. I was apparently the I.T. guy because no other respectable New York businessman has hair like mine, even after the recent haircut.

So it was kinda fun. Shooting on 6th Ave in Midtown just as all the businessmen are hitting the streets.

It was cute when people realized they were about to walk in front of the camera. They'd duck about two feet before they actually reached it, then stand back upright JUST as they passed in front of the lens. Nice try, folks. Nice try.

So it's back to Narcissus tomorrow. And Othryades. I'm pulling double-duty tomorrow, friends! It's a good thing I worked my lats and dlats today!

Mostly Job Update

This was supposed to be a really great post I wrote on the subway ride down to the art school. But my iPhork deleted it. So look at this picture instead.

Back to School

It's awfully hard to care about showing up to classes on time when the instructor is always late.

Portraits. All day. 9:30-5. It's like a kind of punishment.

Portraits are the most unpleasant kind of modeling you can do. Because all you do is sit there.

Usually they out you in a comfy chair.

And the entire gig becomes about trying NOT to fall asleep.

It's awful. Especially in these classroom settings. There's no music. Nobody talks to you. You're on your own.

Remember those school days? It'd be right after lunch. You're in biology. And you want so badly to stay awake. But you just can't. And your head keeps tilting downward. It's awful. Remember??

I thought about putting a pin in the back of the chair. So if I leaned back too much it would start to stick me.

But that seemed like a dangerous idea. And while they don't call me Johnny Danger for nothing, I'd rather not self-mutilate any more than I already do.

So I have two 5 Hour Energy shots ready to go. And the iPhork is set to some peppy music for the breaks.

9:50. Class started at 9:30. And the instructor isn't here. New York City! Where everything's better and the artists are passionate!


-- Post From My iPhork

Three Years Later

It seems my three year anniversary of moving to New York City is being totally upstaged by the whole September 11th thing.

I guess a couple of buildings falling down are more important than me following my dreams of becoming a star.

So while everybody over on twitter and facebook attempts to be profound and poetic with their "On this day I'm a New Yorker too" status updates, it looks like I'll just have to enjoy this cake by myself.

*nom*nom*nom*

-- Post From My iPhork

Thanks

Oh yeah. But while I was still smiling from being called buff by a total stranger (my New York friends say I'm "obviously fit" as opposed to "buff"), along came a little boy with his arms full of beach stuff.

Being the buff stud that I am, I held the gate open for him.

"Thank you, but bad hat."

Whaa?

Then I remembered I was wearing my Yankees cap. Wow. Cousin Joey wasn't lying about the whole Yankee thing down here.

At the airport. Just finished a pulled pork sandwich and about to go through airport security. I'm going to do my best to carry this relaxed feeling with me for the next few days. We learned from the kayaking tour guide that dolphins in captivity live 30 years longer than dolphins in the wild (the ones that just die of old age).

The moral of the story is that stress makes you die faster.

Deep, cleansing breaths. What? Me worry?

-- Post From My iPhork

So Buff

I was walking down to the beach this morning to meet Dad for a swim at high tide.

I met a rather dumpy woman with a deadpan expression at the gate to the cabana area. Her mouth hung agape.

"Whoa...How'd you get so buff?"

Heh heh. That's awesome.






-- Post From My iPhork

Beach

At the airport waiting to board the delayed flight to Hilt On Head. The parents rented a villa for the week and the fam has been coming and going the past few days. Lameness abounds, however, as most everybody, including my niece and nephew, went back to work this week instead of taking a day off to see moi.

So it's just me and Dad for the next four days.

Me and Dad. At a beach resort. With a LOT of scotch.

This is gonna be awesome.

***

But first I have to get over this horrible urge to purge. When the computer lady called to tell me the flight had been delayed I thought, great! I can go grab breakfast at a diner!

I chose Renaissance because the quality is generally high and the amount of food you get for your dining dollar is also high.

But not this time. You'd thing breakfast would be prime business time for a diner.

There was soap in the water. The home fries tasted of day-old cooking grease. I could (though probably shouldn't've) barely choked down the omlete.

And now my stomach wants to empty itself.

But no. Must be strong. Just keep playing iPhone games. This too shall pass.


-- Post From My iPhork