Amsterdam, Netherlands - A group of Nazi transsexual commie pyromaniacs said Monday that it has planned its first-ever "Flaming Christmas" which will feature a living nativity scene set ablaze while goose-stepping shepherds sing "It's Raining Men".
Other attractions will include Nazi transsexual commie pyromaniac-themed films, a bake sale, and having the animal tail of your choosing surgically attached to the end of your spine.
Daphne Van Der Slut, a self-made "shemale" and organizer of "Flaming Christmas" said the purpose of the event is to spread awareness and to provide choices for Nazi transsexual commie pyromaniacs during Christmas.
"At this time of year, there just isn't anything for Nazi Transsexual Commie Pyromaniacs to do," said Van Der Slut.
"Nobody likes caroling, eating delicious Christmas treats, going to parties with friends, visiting with loved ones, drinking eggnog, watching 'It's a Wonderful Life'. These things do nothing but make the Nazi Transsexual Commie Pyromaniac feel isolated and alone when their life choices must be embraced and celebrated by all."
"If you're a Nazi Transsexual Commie Pyromaniac at Christmas, there aren't a lot of options."
The three Christians in Amsterdam, who fled the city without turning around to look back, accused Van Der Slut of hosting this event "'cause he/she's insecure and wants to be antagonistic."
Van Der Slut insists this is not the case.
"Everyone knows Christmas isn't about religion anymore," he/she said. "It's about love and families and, my favorite thing, Santy Claus. And shoes."
"As long as Christians are allowed to exist, Nazi Transsexual Commie Pyromaniacs will feel sad that they aren't seen as 'normal' and will perceive that they are being judged by people who call them 'freak' and 'crazy' and 'feather boa'."
The flaming manger, which will also feature the Christ Child surrounded by shepherds who are all card-carrying members of NAMBLA, will be set ablaze nightly beginning at 6:66 on December 21st.
"Christmas should be about loving yourself and celebrating the fact that you're a cracked and broken person desperately in need of help--and crushing those who think you ought to do something about it."
Van Der Slut went on to say, "Me me me. Me me me me me. Me me me. Me. Me me me me me. Me me me me me me me. Me me. Me. Me me."
Organizers of "Flaming Christmas" hope the event will act as a reminder to the world that Amsterdam is Nazi transsexual commie pyromaniac-friendly, particularly after recent decline in Nazi transsexual commie pyromaniac tourism to the city.
2 comments:
You know, that group is the sole reason Amsterdam's no fun anymore. They drove out the sex industry for being too "hetero-normative," and they confiscated all the ganja because they insisted its consumption was a public mockery of their legitimate compulsion to burn things.
Omnisexual, shemale, fascist, flaming bastards.
You said it, Bibb!
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