gChat

Me: Dude, Guy. I'm serious. We NEED to be in shape so we can run away from Big Government when it starts coming after us. AND we need to be ready to help the Rebel Alliance by acting as rooftop couriers when the Fairness Police hit the streets. I mean, seriously.

Guy: that's right. well. i might have to be the guy in the computer hub
that monitors everything. you can do the running

me: Cool! We need to give you a cool name then. Like Zip. Or USB. Something that sounds like a computer term.

Guy: i can install computer viruses in the O-copters and stuff

me: YES!!!!!!! So what's your code name? Zap? Trig? Piper?

Guy: Trig?

me: I like Trig.

Guy: like Trigonometry?

me: YES! But it's cool because it's like Palin's baby! He's the baby of hope! You're so Trig. Like the maths.

Guy: so what's your name?

me: Well, we could use my porno name. Rex Cherryhill. "Get out of there Rex!" Or Jake Fortune. That's my pirate name.

Guy: i thought you said no to the erotica

me: Wait...no surnames. Just first names. Well, the girl in 'Mirror's Edge' is named Faith. I think it's supposed to be some sort of metaphor. So maybe we should do something like that?
Rex is king, right? Wait, no! Pax!

DUUUUUUUDE!

"Pax! Get outta there!"

That's pretty rad.

Guy: Pax and Trig?

me: Yeah! But we need someone else.

Guy: yeah

me: I think three is good. Like, you can be the computer guy, I can be the runner, and someone else is like, the spec-ops. You have to have a spec-ops.

Guy: but who?

me: We may have to use Dann Bang. Because we could just use his name because it's already awesome.

Guy: but he's with the enemy

me: WHAAAAAAAAAT?!

Guy: he's an o-bot

me: That's SO TRAGIC IT'S PERFECT! He TOTALLY double-crosses us!

Guy: hahaha

me: "Bang! --HOW?!"

"Sorry Trig. I needed the scratch!"

"But you can't! What about the Fairness Police?--Obamalosi?"

"I never cared about those guys! I was just looking out for number one all along!"

DAMN BANG!

Guy: YES DAMN BANG!

me: "Trig! Trig, this is Pax! What's going on there?"

"It's--it's Bang! He's double-crossed us! He's gone O-gue! (like rogue)

"What?! Are you sure?!"

"I've got the gunshot wounds to prove it!"

"DAMN BANG! I'll get him for you! What are his coordinates?"

"He's destroyed all my equipment--it'll take hours for me to get this up and running again--but I planted a tracking device on his iPhone!"

"Sweet! I'm on my way!"

CHAPTER END

Guy: of course the villain carries an iphone

me: Yes. Apple is expensive. And villains have lots of money from their various capers. Wait. No. WE have the capers. The villains use the Fairness Police to get their Apple products.

Guy: right and google gave all the information to the gov't
so we can't use them

me: Does this mean we have to use Yahoo?