Saturday, December 22, 2007

Shopping for Mom

My mom doesn't like stuff.

I think she used to. Back when. But after taking it upon herself to deal with the estates of all our old relatives who pass away, she's come to this new way of thinking. It's just this: Stuff accumulates and clutters, and in the end, someone else has to throw it away for you.

But you still have to get her something for Christmas.

I may be in a counter-cultural mood right now, fully prepared to wish people a Merry Christmas all the way until January 6th, but my mom is a bit more efficient. Like that one customer who came into the store.



Customer: Oh no! I'll never get a Gii before Christmas!

Me: Well, just remember, Christmas begins on the 25th. It doesn't end until January 6th.

Customer: (beat) Yeah. I need it for the 25th.



My mom would probably say I don't need to get her anything. In fact, in addition, she'd also say that I qualify for Medicaid and food stamps.

But even though she says that, she doesn't mean it. The gift part, I mean. She does mean it when she comments on my lamentable financial situation. You have to get her something. You just have to. It's mom.

So I ask you, 42nd Floorers, what do you get for the woman who doesn't want anything but expects you to get her something?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was having the same problem!! I guess a hand-printed apron at your age would be a little inappropriate, maybe? It's a little bit better when you have three small boys...but you can't beat the price!! I hope you are having a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS away from the CITY!