Koo Koo Clocks, Part II

Once upon a time, in the distant country of Scartovania, there lived a proud and strong-willed woman named Babriella. Babriella was so proud and strong-willed that no man from her village would dare approach her for her hand.

Babriella was also very lovely. It wasn't long before princes from kingdoms near and far heard of an incredible beauty that no man could tame. Overcome with pride, these royals would make grand excursions to the home of Babriella, only to return to their palaces in shame, covered with bruises from where her knuckles had met their tender skin.

One day, Babriella was walking through the forest when she met a bear.

"Hullo," said the bear.

"Harumph!" said Babriella. She was too high and mighty even to speak to the woodland creatures.

"Please miss," said the bear, "I am so very hungry. Won't you share some of your lunch with me? If you do I'll grant you three wishes, for you see, I am a magic bear."

"A magic bear? I've never heard of such a thing," said Babriella, astonished.

"Of course not," the bear replied, "Because I'm the only one of my kind."

Babriella opened her pack and handed some bread and cheese to the magic bear, which he ate most hungrily.

"Thank you," the bear rumbled, licking the crumbs from his lips. "Because of your kindness, I now bestow upon you three wishes. If at any point you'd like to use one, simply say the words, 'I wish' followed by what you'd like to wish for. But beware, for the magic is strong. Once you make your wish it cannot be undone." And with that, the bear trotted off into the wood.

Babriella was astonished by this encounter and quickly ran home to ponder over what had just happened.

"I don't feel any different from this morning when I got out of bed," she mused. "I should think that, with three wishes at my disposal, I should feel a little different. Suppose the bear was just playing a trick on me to get at my food? Still, he might have been telling the truth. I had better think carefully about what I want to wish for."

Babriella thought long and hard for, even though she suspected the bear of being a liar, with only three wishes, she certainly didn't want to waste any of them.

Finally, Babriella knew what her first wish would be.

"I wish," she said slowly, "I wish to be Queen of all Scartovania--to be wealthy beyond measure and be the envy of all the kingdoms of the world!"

In a flash, her wish was granted. Her rags melted away and became embroidered robes of such quality that only the very wealthiest of nobles could even imagine touching. Her tiny cottage became a palace with a thousand rooms, each one so beautiful that a hundred artisans working for a hundred years could not hope to construct something to rival it. And the servants! Handsome servants stood at every door, eagerly awaiting the demands of their new Queen.

In no time at all, the word had spread about the mighty, beautiful, and proud Queen Babriella.

Over the years, she led her kingdom into a golden age. Food was plentiful, peace abounded, the royal storehouses were filled with mountains of gold and glittering jewels, and, most of all, Babriella had never been happier. It was at this time, when it seemed there could be no end to her happiness, that Babriella made her second wish.

"I wish," she said slowly, "I wish that I could have a my old cottage again, but much smaller so I can carry it with me wherever I go. When I look at it, I'll remember that, no matter how wealthy and powerful I become, I was once a poor girl from a humble dwelling. And on the tiny cottage, I'd like there to be the face of a clock to serve as a reminder of the hard times that have passed and the good times that are to come."

No sooner had she finished uttering those words than a tiny replica of her old cottage appeared in her gloved hand. Everything was the way she remembered it, only smaller--the stain on the door, the crack on the window, the hole in the roof. And above the door were the hands of a clock that tik-tik-tiked in a most soothing way.

At that very moment, the doors of the throne room burst open and the Duke fell at Babriella's feet.

"Your majesty! Your majesty! Horrors! Oh, help!"

"Rise, my subject, and tell me what troubles weigh upon you."

"Oh, your majesty," wailed the Duke, "There is an uprising in the kingdom! Heretics! Hundreds of heretics have been discovered within our very borders! If something is not done and this insurgence is allowed to flourish, all of Scartovania is doomed!"

"Are the heretics very dangerous?" the Queen inquired.

"Oh, the most dangerous kind. I barely escaped with my head. You must act swiftly and harshly before ruin comes to us all!"

That very day Queen Babriella signed a decree stating that any and all heretics were to be found and burned at the stake. Scartovania soon found itself in the vice-grip of fear as plumes of black, foul-smelling smoke rose from its streets both day and night. Neighbors turned upon neighbor. Accusations and rumors spread like a poison. The kingdom became a mere shadow of its once-happy self.

The people looked to their Queen.

But Queen Babriella didn't know what to do. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, and instead of sitting on her throne, she only paced back and forth, wishing she knew what was the right thing to do.

Then she remembered she had one more wish.

"I wish," she said slowly, "I wish that I had an adviser who would always tell me the right thing to do. But I do not wish my subjects to know that I need assistance from anyone--" (she was as proud as ever, you see) "--so make my adviser very small. No bigger than a bird. And let it speak in a tongue that only I will be able to understand."

At once, a tiny bird appeared on her shoulder.

"Thank goodness!" said the Queen. "Now, little bird, I beseech you, tell me what I should do."

"Don't talk to me!" came the reply.

"What? But that's not why I called you. You are to give me advice, not speak to me in such a disrespectful manner."

"Don't talk to me!" the bird insisted.

"Have you any idea who you're talking to? I am the Queen of all Scartovania!"

"Don't talk to me!"

"The devil take you! I summoned you here. You are my most trusted advisor and I demand you tell me what you know!"

"The Queen is a witch!" shouted a voice.

The Queen looked up and found that she was not alone. Indeed, many villagers had entered the palace by force and had come upon Babriella talking to the little bird.

"Queen Babriella is a witch and a heretic! See! See! The little bird on her shoulder is her familiar, sent to her by her father the Devil! Seize her! Seize her! But do not look into her eyes lest she cast some foul enchantment on you!"

Babriella screamed and kicked, but it was no use. In a moment, the angry mob had fallen on her. They took her jeweled crown from her head, bound her, and loaded her into a cart which would take her to the pyre where she would be burned as a witch.

As for the little bird, it made its home in the tiny cottage. And every hour on the hour it would peek out and shout its plaintive cry--but because of Babriella's wish, you and I could never understand it. All we hear is "Koo koo! Koo koo!"

And that's where koo-koo clocks come from.

The End