Goo

I just did my first full-body cast for a studio that makes realistic mannequins for museums.

It was really cool. Except for the fact that I was basically covered from head to toe in petroleum jelly.

Now I know how that pelican felt. Only the pelican was just minding his own business. Maybe he was going to pick up some milk and butter from the store. I don't know.

One thing I DO know; he wasn't about to have a full-body cast of himself made while striking a heroic pose.

I also learned that dishwashing soap really is good for cutting the grease!

First, it's best to shave as much of the hair off your body as you can stand without feeling ashamed. Because when they peel you out of the cast, they're peeling your knuckle-hairs out too.

Fortunately, I've had a lot of experience dealing with pain in my life. So I just take a deep breath and keep reminding myself this discomfort is far less than the pain I'd feel if I were having shoots of bamboo jammed up my remaining 9 toenails.

Heroic pose. Soldier. The Everyman (5'9'', 150lbs, Caucasian, brown hair, blue eyes) Goes to War.

Once the pose was set, they fastened these padded bars all around me, sort of like a cage. A very TIGHT cage. Then I could lean on them and relax a little since it takes time for the plaster to dry.

Part 1 was the lower body. Part 2 was the upper body. They didn't get the green light to make it into a trilogy, however, because I have a big bushy beard. The studio director has begged me to shave so they can do body and face casts.

Hmm. Well. I don't KNOwwwwwwwwww. Seeing my heroic, athletic likeness in museums all around the world... or keep Theodore.

I'll keep Theodore.

But if he gets outta line...whoooooo. Just. WATCH OUT.