I KNEW I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THIS!!
I have said it TIME and TIME again. If you want your boy to grow up and be an arrogant, steroid-addled high school quarterback who knocks up the entire cheerleading squad, go ahead! Name him Hunter!
So props to my sister for naming my future nephew something respectable like Will.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Staring at the Wall
There's so much to do...
...and yet...I can't bring myself to do any of it.
Between writing new plays, editing that Disney youtube video, finishing that Shrek the Musical review, and doing another lesson in my National Academy of Sports Medicine Personal Trainer Certification course...I just feel like I don't know where to start so I might as well hang it all and go play video games instead.
I think my malaise may have something to do with that article I read this morning. It seems those numbskull Swiss scientists are going to rev-up that blasted Doomsday Machine this summer. Because the last time they used it nothing happened. And they think they can DO something this time.
So...if we're all fated to be swallowed up by a man-made black hole, then what's the point of anything?
And another thing--why the crap are these lame-brained Swedes trying to MAKE effing black holes ANYWAY? So they can pat themselves on the back in the second before they get sucked into it? I mean, that's like being happy you figured out new a way to kill yourself that didn't involve guns, poison, or chocolate cake.
Well, good for you, morons.
Seriously. Effing Swedes. The day we let them out of their hot cocoa factories and into laboratories is a day we will come to rue.
Well great. Now I'm pissed!
...and yet...I can't bring myself to do any of it.
Between writing new plays, editing that Disney youtube video, finishing that Shrek the Musical review, and doing another lesson in my National Academy of Sports Medicine Personal Trainer Certification course...I just feel like I don't know where to start so I might as well hang it all and go play video games instead.
I think my malaise may have something to do with that article I read this morning. It seems those numbskull Swiss scientists are going to rev-up that blasted Doomsday Machine this summer. Because the last time they used it nothing happened. And they think they can DO something this time.
So...if we're all fated to be swallowed up by a man-made black hole, then what's the point of anything?
And another thing--why the crap are these lame-brained Swedes trying to MAKE effing black holes ANYWAY? So they can pat themselves on the back in the second before they get sucked into it? I mean, that's like being happy you figured out new a way to kill yourself that didn't involve guns, poison, or chocolate cake.
Well, good for you, morons.
Seriously. Effing Swedes. The day we let them out of their hot cocoa factories and into laboratories is a day we will come to rue.
Well great. Now I'm pissed!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Gobble
I was making turkey burgers and as I flipped them, one flopped off the spatula and onto my sock.
Of course I still ate it. I need the protein.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Guuuuuu
I am in agony.
I thought things were going a little TOO swimmingly.
We can't have that, can we?
I'm at about 80% on the Allergy-o-meter. It seems like half the water I'm drinking to keep my poor throat from being sizzled by oozy goo comes out of my nose every time I blow it.
How are y'all doing?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
No...wait...
There IS something I can write about and it'll only take a second.
Auditions. But not just any auditions. Auditions where they want you to both read from a script and improv broad physical comedy at the same time.
Case in point, my recent "third-time's-a-charm?" disaster audition for the Virginia Shakespeare Festival. One look at my resume will tell you, even if you've never worked with me before, that I'm PROBABLY a top-drawer Shakespeare actor seeing as how that's all I ever DO.
The initial audition was dynamite.
The callback was not.
You're screwed either way. If you try to nail the physical comedy in the cold reading, you have to put the script down to do it, you stop saying the lines, then there's the awkward moment of picking the script back up and finding your place. The rhythm gets completely thrown and the scene doesn't work. The casting guy assumes the flatness of the scene comes from the fact that you're not a good actor. And you don't get cast.
Or you can just do light physical comedy so you can keep your place in the script and keep the scene trotting along and a brisk and lively pace. But then the casting director is disappointed that you didn't do more physical stuff and figures you must not be a creative person or a very funny comedian. And you don't get cast.
So the only way around this is to have memorized the scene in advance--but since you don't know which scene you're reading you just better be prepared to do the entire play--and have it all staged before you show up for the callback.
Or be a robot.
Frustrating.
Auditions. But not just any auditions. Auditions where they want you to both read from a script and improv broad physical comedy at the same time.
Case in point, my recent "third-time's-a-charm?" disaster audition for the Virginia Shakespeare Festival. One look at my resume will tell you, even if you've never worked with me before, that I'm PROBABLY a top-drawer Shakespeare actor seeing as how that's all I ever DO.
The initial audition was dynamite.
The callback was not.
You're screwed either way. If you try to nail the physical comedy in the cold reading, you have to put the script down to do it, you stop saying the lines, then there's the awkward moment of picking the script back up and finding your place. The rhythm gets completely thrown and the scene doesn't work. The casting guy assumes the flatness of the scene comes from the fact that you're not a good actor. And you don't get cast.
Or you can just do light physical comedy so you can keep your place in the script and keep the scene trotting along and a brisk and lively pace. But then the casting director is disappointed that you didn't do more physical stuff and figures you must not be a creative person or a very funny comedian. And you don't get cast.
So the only way around this is to have memorized the scene in advance--but since you don't know which scene you're reading you just better be prepared to do the entire play--and have it all staged before you show up for the callback.
Or be a robot.
Frustrating.
Friday, January 23, 2009
What's Going On
Sorry I haven't posted anything. ANYTHING. Lately.
I've been working. And there just doesn't seem to be much to talk about these days.
The backlog is staggering. I've got a Disney World youtube video to edit, a review of Shrek the Musical coming up, new Forkulele songs to record, a new play to start writing, modeling, the gym, and certification for personal training.
It's a lot of stuff.
So just hang tight. The draught will end soon.
In the meantime, enjoy Omerica!
I've been working. And there just doesn't seem to be much to talk about these days.
The backlog is staggering. I've got a Disney World youtube video to edit, a review of Shrek the Musical coming up, new Forkulele songs to record, a new play to start writing, modeling, the gym, and certification for personal training.
It's a lot of stuff.
So just hang tight. The draught will end soon.
In the meantime, enjoy Omerica!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
My Little Pony: Equus "Nugget" Review
Expect Harry Potter to be a little hoarse in the next movie.
That's because he spends so much of his time screaming at the top of his lungs in the revival of Equus on Broadway. After blasting out horsey nonsenseries night after night on the West End and now here in the colonies, the poor kid's voice is shot.
It all goes back to my belief that the day they decided to put movie stars on the stage for boffo box-office is the day they should have loaded the stage with hidden mics. First raspy Katie Holmes, now Daniel Radcliffe. Yes, folks. Everything's coming up polyps.
I've never been a fan of Equus, with its unending stream of dense, attention-straining monologues and bizzaro moral of it being better to have lived passionately than to have lived with no passion at all--even if "passion" means you have a thing for horsies and, in an insane fit of pony-erotic guilt, you stab out their eyes because they caught you cheating on them with the local barnyard floozy.
The horses in the play are represented by a chorus of beefy dancers wearing skin-tight brown suits, skeletal horse masks with "poke me out" glow-in-the-dark eyeballs, and eight-inch go-go hoofs--an ensemble that is bound to set many a Chelsea nightclub to whinnying next Halloween.
As for the stars, Radcliffe is adequate--if a bit stiff in that film actor sort of way--in the role of the troubled teenager. And since he IS a teenager and his character loves/hates/worships/stabs horses, all he really has to do is show up and say the lines without completely losing his voice.
Meanwhile, Richard Griffiths continues to deliver the goods, although during the duller parts his extraordinary girth becomes something of a side-show style distraction.
Imagery abounds--we've got "Christ on the Cross" poses, beefy men serving as stand-ins for horses which Radcliffe gets VERY friendly with, on-stage balcony seating which attempts to make the stage look like an anatomy classroom. It all looks great.
Unfortunately, as a whole, the production of this play, which shocked in the seventies, somehow lacks bite. Perhaps it has something akin to the "Harry Potter" books and films--it's trying so hard to "be dark" that it comes off not as creepy and unsettling, but as an adolescent attempt to shock the squares.
All that said, if you're one of those types who always loved Equus, with its pony lovin' and high-falutin' monologuing, you'll probably go "gee-gee whiz!" over this production.
Oh yeah, and Harry Potter gets naked.
That's because he spends so much of his time screaming at the top of his lungs in the revival of Equus on Broadway. After blasting out horsey nonsenseries night after night on the West End and now here in the colonies, the poor kid's voice is shot.
It all goes back to my belief that the day they decided to put movie stars on the stage for boffo box-office is the day they should have loaded the stage with hidden mics. First raspy Katie Holmes, now Daniel Radcliffe. Yes, folks. Everything's coming up polyps.
I've never been a fan of Equus, with its unending stream of dense, attention-straining monologues and bizzaro moral of it being better to have lived passionately than to have lived with no passion at all--even if "passion" means you have a thing for horsies and, in an insane fit of pony-erotic guilt, you stab out their eyes because they caught you cheating on them with the local barnyard floozy.
The horses in the play are represented by a chorus of beefy dancers wearing skin-tight brown suits, skeletal horse masks with "poke me out" glow-in-the-dark eyeballs, and eight-inch go-go hoofs--an ensemble that is bound to set many a Chelsea nightclub to whinnying next Halloween.
As for the stars, Radcliffe is adequate--if a bit stiff in that film actor sort of way--in the role of the troubled teenager. And since he IS a teenager and his character loves/hates/worships/stabs horses, all he really has to do is show up and say the lines without completely losing his voice.
Meanwhile, Richard Griffiths continues to deliver the goods, although during the duller parts his extraordinary girth becomes something of a side-show style distraction.
Imagery abounds--we've got "Christ on the Cross" poses, beefy men serving as stand-ins for horses which Radcliffe gets VERY friendly with, on-stage balcony seating which attempts to make the stage look like an anatomy classroom. It all looks great.
Unfortunately, as a whole, the production of this play, which shocked in the seventies, somehow lacks bite. Perhaps it has something akin to the "Harry Potter" books and films--it's trying so hard to "be dark" that it comes off not as creepy and unsettling, but as an adolescent attempt to shock the squares.
All that said, if you're one of those types who always loved Equus, with its pony lovin' and high-falutin' monologuing, you'll probably go "gee-gee whiz!" over this production.
Oh yeah, and Harry Potter gets naked.
Friday, January 02, 2009
New Years Day x 2
It's 2009 on Planet Earth.
I try to think about what I hope to accomplish this year. I guess I could finally get started on my memoirs.
It's also the Eighth Day of Christmas. That's right. We're not out of the woods yet. If you have any presents for me that you didn't get mailed off, don't wait until next year. It's not too late for me to get tons of gifts.
In other news, on Monday morning I'll be leaving New York for five days. We will be enjoying an almost-free trip to Disney World with a couple of friends of mine, one of whom works at the Disney Store and uses the Magic of the Mouse to get us in all the parks for free and half off any of the resort hotels.
So yeah. I think we're going to have a good time.
And I'll be celebrating the Adoration of the Magi on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.
I try to think about what I hope to accomplish this year. I guess I could finally get started on my memoirs.
It's also the Eighth Day of Christmas. That's right. We're not out of the woods yet. If you have any presents for me that you didn't get mailed off, don't wait until next year. It's not too late for me to get tons of gifts.
In other news, on Monday morning I'll be leaving New York for five days. We will be enjoying an almost-free trip to Disney World with a couple of friends of mine, one of whom works at the Disney Store and uses the Magic of the Mouse to get us in all the parks for free and half off any of the resort hotels.
So yeah. I think we're going to have a good time.
And I'll be celebrating the Adoration of the Magi on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.
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