About two days ago I tried to call my mom on her snazzy new MePhone. I wanted to congratulate her on her recent appointment before the Senate to Duchess of East Cackalakee.
Something went wrong.
Horribly wrong.
Lines were crossed. Something--I don't know what. Never got through to her. But I did get through to somebody else.
Though the connection was bad, I could make out the dulcet tones of a husky black man's voice on the other end.
"Hello? Hello? I can't hear you. Hello?"
That doesn't sound like my mom, I thought.
I decided to hang up and try again.
The connection was better this time. And the black man's voice rang out loud and clear.
"Hello? Hello?"
Confused, I did the only thing that made sense. I said, "Hello? Hello?" back as if the connection was still bad and hung up.
I was really confused now. I tried to make sense of the whole thing and, in doing so--and this is going to sound really REALLY wrong, folks--but in trying to make sense of why a black man was answering my Mom's phone, my first thought was, "Did they give her a servant? It is East Cackalakee..."
Then my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number.
"It may be that guy. Umm...I'll just let him leave a message. Maybe that will clear everything up."
A message was left. Sure enough, it was that guy. He didn't know who I was, but he saw that I tried to call him twice and he wanted to know what I needed. His name was Mr. Williams and his number was ###-###-####.
"I'm NOT going to call this guy just to tell him I dialed the wrong number," I said to the message lady as she asked if I wanted to delete the message. "YES! Get rid of it!" I replied and hit the 7 button.
That was a big mistake.
Since Monday, I have received no less than five phone calls and two more voice mails from Mr. Williams.
"Fork, hi, this is Mr. Williams calling. I saw you called on Monday and was just wondering what you were calling about. Please call me back at--"
"Hello Fork. Just trying to reach you. This is Mr. Williams. Please call me back. You called twice on Monday and I'm not sure what you needed."
Mr. Williams, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. I dialed the wrong number. Leave me alone.
1 comment:
You fool! "Mr. Williams" is code for the National Security Administration's Headquarters! NSA thinks you're a terrorist! You'd better get on the lamb, double pronto.
Or maybe you used to be a government assassin, and you called that number as part of your programming. Do you occasionally beat the crap out of people on pure instinct? Do strange men in trenchcoats follow you through Manhattan? You could be J. Forke of The Forke Ultimatum!
Post a Comment