As you all know by now, we "sell out" of Nofriendo Giis every day. Of course, by "sell out" I mean "sell however many the managers decide to sell that day so's they feel powerful or whatever."
If you grovel grovel at the right manager--I mean really beg and kiss their butts--you MAY be able to get them to give you the hook up.
Well, we peons don't like that and have started a little revolution of our own.
Once or MAYBE twice a day if we get customers who REALLY want one and are nice or funny about it, we sneak a Gii up to them and sell it on the sly.
Last Friday I got a lady on the phone.
"Thank you for calling Nofriendo World Land, this is Forkissimo speaking. How may I help you?"
"Hi. Do you have any Gii?"
"No, ma'am, I'm sorry. We only have three left and unless you're in the store right now, we'll be sold out by the time you get here."
"Noooooooooooooooo!!! But my son's birthday is on Sunday! What am I gonna do! I'll do anything! ANYthing!"
"I'm sorry ma--"
"My husband is in Long Island! What if he comes up right now?!"
"Umm..."
"Please! Help a desperate parent! You'll be a hero!"
"A hero, huh?"
"Yes!"
"Okay ma'am. Hold for one second. Left me see what I can do."
I asked one of the leaders of our Gii Revolution if he thought it would be okay to give her the hookup.
"We give her our blessing. Permit her to purchase the Fun Machine."
"Ma'am, can you husband be here in an hour?"
"YES!"
"Okay. Have him come up to [undisclosed location] and have him ask for [me]. We'll hook him up. But tell him to be discreet. We can't afford to get busted."
The hubby showed up and gave the secret password. I slunk away and returned with the parcel.
Having paid, he dashed out--but not before looking at me and saying, "Thanks a million, buddy. Lunch is on me." He slapped a 20 in my hand.
Lunch, schmunch! I buyin' a bottle of vodka!
And that's how I got my first tip.
2 comments:
She said she would do ANYTHING and you didn't make her follow through with that? I would have made her run through the streets wearing a Ronald McDonald suit and screaming that the Apocalypse is coming and Donald Trump is the first horseman. But that's just me.
20 bucks? That's it? That's barely 10 percent! Isn't it just typical that these richety-rich parents who can afford to buy their rotten kids Wiis by the bushel and jet around Long Island in their Cadillac Escalades with the solid gold rims, capped with diamond-encrusted lugnuts, these high-society snooters who look down their Coriolanian noses at us poor saps who actually work for a living instead of just meeting two people for Starbucks to discuss the reallotment of a couple million-dollar mutual funds, these are the people who toss the working man a JACKSON?!!!
Death to the bourgeoisie! Eat the rich! Vive le revolution! Vive la resistance!
Post a Comment