These Days

These days.

These days are busy.

These days include a regular 9-6 at NofriendoWorldLandStore.

Then there's something in the evening. Usually it's a rehearsal for 'Midsummer'...which I'm still proud to be apart of.

Sometimes it's "temp work", which I'm happy to still be able to do without feeling embarassed.

Things are busy these days. I don't even have time to think about the fact that I'm going to turn 28 in a few short months.

I guess there are worse fates.

A couple of things:

A. Don't trust a clergyman who hasn't worked retail during Christmastime.

and

2. Don't trust a clergyman who hasn't lived in a place where crazy people accost you on a daily basis. And when I say "crazy", I don't mean a general crazy. I mean bat-sh!t crazy. Scary crazy. Crazy like, "Oh my gosh...I'd better hand over my wallet or there could be trouble.

and

3. If you want a Nofriendo Gii this year, you'd better let me know soon.

Okay. That's all for now. Sorry for the dearth of posts. Things are...busy.

Oh, but wait!

I'm playing the ukulele in 'Midsummer'!!! Puck's a plunka-plunking!

Royal

There's purple on the tree this year.

Gorge

'Midsummer' opens on the 6th.  I have to show off abs again.  But wait--we just got through Thanksgiving!  Not a good time for vain actors who want nothing more than for plastic surgeons to somehow come up with ab-implants.  

Let's see.  What have I gorged myself on this past week?

A combination of various turkeys and hams

Ab-o-meter Damage: 2 

Turkeys and hams are high in protein.  Nothing says 'muscles' like meat.  No worries here.

South Carolina Pulled Pork BBQ and collard greens

Ab-o-meter Damage: 6

Normally, I'd lump the BBQ into the combination of various turkeys and hams, but not when slathered in sweet, sweet sauce that is probably really bad for you, despite its heavenly taste.  At least the collards are high in iron.  And bacon.

Sushi

Ab-o-meter Damage: ??

I'm still not sure about this.  Is sushi supposed to be good for you?  All the anorexic girls in New York eat it because they think it's healthy, but I'm pretty sure I've seen some chubby fish swimming around the sea.

An impossible number of cookies and pastries, including, but certainly not limited to, pumpkin pies, Forkish Pumpkin Log X-Treme, 12 layer chocolate cake, 12 layer butterscotch cake, apple cake, ice cream, candies, etc., etc.

Ab-o-meter Damage: 8

This is why I'm getting back to New York today and going straight to the gym.  Once in a while is okay, but one must control oneself.  And I...I just couldn't.

Aunt L's Sweet Potatoes

Ab-o-meter Damage: 10

The Hitler of Thanksgiving dishes, Aunt L's Sweet Potatoes...where do I begin?  Topped with an inch-and-a-half of melted marshmallows, once you got to the thin layer of sweet potatoes beneath, you quickly found that the sweet potatoes weren't just sweet...they were sweet.  I'll be on the elliptical machine for two days before I manage to work off the calories consumed in this sugary confection of sweet, sweet goodness.  I tried to stop eating it.  I really did.  But I just...couldn't...stop...stuffing...my...face...

Oysters

Ab-o-meter Damage: negligible

Gross-o-meter: Off the charts

I've become a firm believer in trying new things.  You never know what you might be missing out on.  At our cousin's annual Day After Thanksgiving feast, I finally decided to cowboy up and try this South Carolina delicacy.  I'm glad I did.  But it's going to be a while before I go hunting around for more food that looks like aborted fetuses.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!  It's time for me to get back on the plane and return to Nofriendo World.  I'll see you in hell!  Christmas hell!

The Strike of the Stagehands (or The Stagehands Strike Back)

The strike of the stagehands is affecting my brilliant career!

Oh wait.  No it's not.

In fact, the production of 'Midsummer' I'm currently in (wait--have I mentioned that yet?) will probably benefit from the fact that there's nothing to see on ol' Broadway but 'The Lion King'.

So everyone, make the trip out to Brooklyn in two weeks and see Puck plunka-plunk on the ukulele!

I'm actually quite delighted to report that this production has been tons of fun to be a part of.  The actors, for the most part, are all very talented, creative people.  The director isn't an insecure female, easily intimidated by the overwhelming talent of pronged dining utensils.  

Yes, this has been a hap-hap-happy show to be a part of!  Who knows if it will be any good, but you know, sometimes a cast that's obviously having a good time makes up for many shortcomings.

Too bad I have to be freakin' shirtless.  AGAIN!

Thanks. Give me.

Welcome to Turkeyanddressingandpumpkinpieville!

I'm in South Carolina for the next several days. I'll miss the big parade down Broadway and the cold weather and celebrating a major holiday alone in my apartment.

Instead, I'll be stuffed full of sugary, buttery foods until I can eat no more and get diabetes.

That's what happens when you go South.

Hope yawl have a real good time this Thanksgiving. Somehow, it's become one of my favorite holidays. Maybe it's the food. Maybe it's because Christmas Heck hasn't quite reached the inevitable degree of horror we all know is coming.

Okay. I'm going to eat more now.

Who'll Stop the Rain?

There have been lots of things to write about in the past few weeks, but nothing could get me off my kiester and onto the keyboard again like the news that our freakishly warm weather (60 degrees!) is about to be flamboozled by a freakin' cold front.

I could cry. I really could. I don't want this. Please...please...America, if you're listening to me, don't sign for this when the postman comes a-knockin'. Tell him to send it back to Canada.

Seriously, guys. Who says global warming is a problem? What we NEED to do is kick up our CO2 emissions and warm this place up so we can prevent things like this from EVER HAPPENING AGAIN.

Think of all the shivering babies.