Oh My Broadway

My friends don't make any sense. Not a lick.

So as a Hallamaween treat, JJo sends me two tickets to the Schnauser Schaperone, just about my favorite show on Broadway. I've seen it three times.

Thing is, I've seen it three times.

Three.

And since JJo didn't pay for the tickets--he acquired them from friends of his who had to cancel their trip to the NYC at the last minute--I got to thinking, "You know, I tell people about this show all the time. I just love it. Maybe instead of hogging them to myself I should share the wealth."

So I started calling up my friends.

And they all said no.

Kids, these are free tickets. To a big-time Broadway show. A show that I love. They're front-row center. These tickets would normally cost $120 each. Did I mention they were FREE?

Yeah. All my friends turned me down. I couldn't GIVE them away.

"I'll be too tired."

"I've had a long week. I want to go drinking."

"That's too inconvenient for me."

"You mean I have to leave work and RUN to the theatre and sit and watch a SHOW?"

Yeah, I know.

So my friend Jams suggested I scalp them.

Scene: Crimes Square, 7:45pm

Me: Umm...excuse me? Sir? Umm...I'm so sorry to bother you. I know you're busy and this is Crimes Square and all, but...would you...um. Would you like to see the Schnauser Schaperone toni--"

Bronx Bob: F--kin' f--k your f--kin' s--t f--k a-s tickets, motherf--kin f--ker!

Yeah. Forget that.

In the end, I managed to give them to my ukulele teacher, but only after promising to pay him an extra $50 a lesson if he took them off my hands.

Queen III, after hearing my story, gave this dramatic reinactment of what my friends said to me:

WHAT? You're trying to give me FREE TICKETS?! To a BROADWAY SHOW? The nerve! And after all I've done for you. And this is the thanks I get? This is too inconvenient! I can't take your free tickets! So DON'T EVER ASK ME AGAIN!!